SMBC anyone else?

[greeneyes85]

I'm looking into becoming a SMBC and wondered if there was anyone else considering the same on here? I've not started the journey yet so I'm at the very start.

I've not posted this to receive criticism or people saying that a child should have two parents. I've posted this to talk to other people in a similar situation and I hope that's okay.

Me!! Currently 6+5 weeks pregnant!

Have you decided what kind of treatment you are likely to have, and chosen a clinic?

Me

1 failed IUI, 3 rounds of IVF that consisted of 3 failures, 1 loss and am now 30 weeks pregnant. It took me 3 years to get to this point. I'll be honest and say it has been an emotional rollercoaster but I have supportive family and friends around me.

Go for it! There's a Facebook group called 'The stork and I Mum tribe' (set up by a smbc) where you can ask questions etc.

Yo! I have a double-donor conceived 3yo as an SMBC.

Mine is also double donor! (though not born yet!)

@ASGIRC I've found a clinic and think IVF might be the best way forward as I'm not far from 40 and believe IUI has lower results. Can I ask what you did please?

@Onethingiwantfor23 that's amazing and I appreciate the honesty. I doubt I could afford all that but I'm ready for the rollercoaster! Can I ask what clinic you used?

@Persipan that's amazing! How have you found things over the past 3 years? What's a double donor? Sorry for being a bit dumb on this!

I did embryo adoption. Basically used a leftover embryo from someone else's treatment.
So I didn't go through the stims phase of IVF, as I didn't use my own eggs, due to age and a genetic factor.
But the transfer part is the same as IVF.
Embryo adoption is also much cheaper than normal IVF and even more so than IVF woth double donors

I'm a SMBC to a 2 year old via IVF with donor sperm. I'm now 6+4 with her sibling from a Frozen Embryo Transfer!

@ASGIRC I didn't even know this was a thing! Gosh I've so much to learn. I've never seen this advertised on any clinic's website?

@Olivia199 congratulations (twice)! Do you mind if I ask what treatment you had?

@greeneyes85 It isnt advertised, but most, if not all clinics do provide this treatment.
When people freeze embryos, they have 3 options, after the storage time they buy is up, if they dont end up using all of them in their own treatments: discard and destroy, donate to science, donate to other people undergoing treatment.

Some people do donate to others, so labs will have some donated embryos.

This was the option I chose, as opposed to egg donor and sperm donor. In effect, it is what I have, but I didnt get to keep all the embryos from that round of IVF, just the one donated embryo.

I have a 10 yr old. I tried iui x 5....in the end I did DiY insemination with a private known donor and it worked 2nd time trying

Thank you! I did egg sharing IVF and got 6 embryos in storage. I overstimulated so I froze all the embryos and then did a frozen embryo transfer for my DD and this second baby.
One thing I will say is that it all feels alien and unknown and overwhelming but you'll soon be an expert!

Thank you so much everyone.

SMBC to a 9 month old via IUI with donor sperm 😊 changed my whole life, he is amazing

My advice is pick a nice clinic because some of the tests are invasive and you want a place you can trust

I'm a SMBC to 2DDs and are expecting DS1 in a few weeks. I think I'm unusual in having 3 singletons that way (same donor; used IVF).
It's not for everyone, but it's definitely for me.

Hi! I’m an SMBC to an 8month old son. I did IVF with donor sperm to maximise my chances of success and also the option for a subsequent FET. I was lucky and conceived on my first round and have 3 embryos frozen.

I took the approach that I’d never regret a child but I’d definitely regret it if I didn’t have a child.

Can I join your thread OP

I want to ask how people have the time, money and support to bring up a baby on your own?

I have some money but an intense job

Time is running out for me but I need to start getting serious about this and have no idea how I’d do it on my own

@Lovelove2 - Hi and welcome!

I also have quite an intense job and worried I'd find it difficult but honestly it works just fine for us! I have, however, changed to slightly more accommodating hours.

The time and money side of things - financially you just have to work things out month by month and make sure you're on top of it. If you have savings that's a great place to start.
Time? I adore the time I spend with my DD. Don't get me wrong, I'm shattered most the time and some days can be tough. But we have a lovely life.

There are highs and lows as with any parenting journey, but absolutely no reason to think you can't do it on your own. I heard a lot of my friends saying things like "blimey, I could never ever do it solo. I'm always waiting for the 6pm when my partner finishes work" etc. But that's their life. I went into this knowing it's just us and I love it.

My mum is really supportive and does nursery pick ups for me as I don't finish until half hour after they close. She's also just had my slighter for 4 days as I was in hospital. So things like that are invaluable. Do you have family/friend support?

*daughter ... not slighter.