Older parents

[Sorrento79]

Hi
we've had 5 years of fertility treatments. I will spare you the nitty gritty, but it's been awful! This 5 years included a gap for covid and a year 'off' as my head was so messed up with it all. Anyway, we went back to the clinic to discuss it all, and in the course of that mentioned some concerns we'd had about a couple of things including a very painful procedure. The clinical manager found out and was so unhappy they gave us a free transfer with one of the remaining (double donor, we are a same sex couple neither of whom could raise a viable embryo) embryos and I am now 16 weeks!
We've barely told a soul, largely because I am still quite cautious but also because I feel kinda weird, a bit sheepish maybe. We've spent tonnes on money and upset on this, and so much time. I'm now approaching 45 years old, and that was never the plan to have a baby this late (although 40 I knew was old this feels different somehow).
Anyhow, I wonder if anyone knows of any groups for older mums?

Congratulations! 🎉
If you Google ‘forums for older mums’ a couple do come up, I’m not sure I’m allowed to link competitors on here though.
Take time to enjoy your pregnancy, there is nothing to feel sheepish about.

Hi, we are undergoing DE treatment next month as ‘potential’ older parents. I haven’t told anyone about our treatment, for lots of reasons but also I want to BE pregnant before sharing the news. I know that this is the right choice for us but I’m sure some friends/family would think we are nuts doing this as ‘older’ potential parents. At work I manage a lot of younger staff,a lot of whom are going on/coming back from Mat leave - my colleagues often make comments on the ‘young ones’ and ‘ it’s to be expected’ ….I can only imagine the comments they would make about me if our DE treatment works. This is a teeny consideration for me tbh, we’ve fought long and hard and hope with all our hearts this works for us. I recently read a blog from a midwife saying that older parents are taking over the maternity wards - I’d happily be counted in those stats given the chance xx

Hi @Eiremogra did you finally have your DE treatment and whereabouts? We are thinking, too.

Hi @GingerFox2021 we are having our treatment with IB Alicante. We had the mock cycle last month and all went well so started the treatment cycle 5 days ago. I have my scan on Wednesday which we’re hoping goes well and then we’ll be travelling to Spain for a week or so for transfer. The biggest stress is not knowing when to book flights etc. Nothing can be booked as yet as it all depends on the donor and my reaction to treatment. Growing ever impatient tbh. I have 2 weeks of work now … realising how much of a distraction work was!! How are you? What stage are you at?x

@Eiremogra we just recently started talking about DE, but my partner said ok. I’m kind of nervous now. But if to start I’d want to start asap as I’m tired of constant thinking about it and debating with myself. It will never be a right time, anyway. I’m looking into Czech Republic.

Hi OP
I have one DE DD. I’m seriously thinking about trying for another with our remaining embryo and if we were lucky again, would be the same age as you when they were born. I also had a long infertility journey and although clearly my age isn’t ideal - it’s only one element of me as a parent. Good luck x

@Eiremogra @GreyGoose1980 how are you ladies doing it with your journey? We have just officially started.

@Sorrento79 Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I am mum to two donor conceived children (who are now 9 and 7) and I had them at 45 and 47 respectively. My husband is the same age. Honestly it's been great. We just joined in all the usual groups (NCT/Baby and Toddler groups) and to be honest, whilst I definitely felt older that some of the younger mums and dad it was mainly in a good way (more financial settled/career on track/more confidence etc.).

Happy to answer any questions you might have about my experience?

Good luck!

I did DE in Spain as we've struggled for years for our first with own eggs. I'll be 43 when baby arrives as am currently 8 weeks pregnant.

Some one here mentioned being at IB, it's a wonderful clinic, we did go see then but settled with a different clinic. Wishing you all the best, they are such a wonderful team ❤️

I've thought alot about my age at the school gates, at work, everyday life with a little one. I've resorted to... this is my life, it's not how and when I intended to have a child...but.. I'm having a baby and nothing else matters !