Donor with non hereditary disability

[merderforlife]

Would you use a donor with a disability if it was one that wasn't inherited?

He is a perfect match otherwise for everything we were looking for.

if its not genetic then yes sure. as could happen to anyone.

It depends. Is it a major thing or minor for quality of life? If the disability was a result of an accident, then definitely, as there's definitely no genetic component. There are a lot of things that aren't "inherited" but do have a genetic component, and if it's something that impacts on quality of life, then I would try to look for someone else.

When I was going through this and had similar worries someone close to me posed the dilemma in a different way.....'if I met a man IRL and I considered him perfect for me in everyway, would I refuse to marry/procreate/share a life with him because of this one aspect of him?'. It was a useful perspective for me.

Most of us don’t know what genes we carry. We can carry genes for disability, which are not pathogenic - ie they are not expressed. We only have had a glimpse of this, as DD has had genome sequencing. Spontaneous mutations can arise, whoever you choose.

Indeed. I am a carrier for a genetic disease, because my father has it. There was no history of the disease in his family prior, so it must have been a mutation in his genome during the pregancy.

Why wouldn’t you?

Is it going to adversely affect lifespan, so that when DC goes looking for him, he's already passed away?

I'm mid-fifties and know a lot of people who have spent years tracking down biological fathers who were never present in their lives. They have a profound need to know where they come from and where they fit in the big tapestry of humanity. So there's a good chance a donor conceived kid of yours may feel similarly.

Medical understanding of faulty gene expression is still in its infancy; far too much is still unknown. It's hard to imagine that his disability is guaranteed uninheritable.

My parents (and DH's) died long before anyone knew that the diseases that killed them are all hereditary. 4 out of their 5 children have inherited, two died .