AI/IUI abroad and NHS communication question

[Fauda]

New to this journey, but 36 and I've decided to become a solo mum for various reasons. I'm keen to go abroad for artificial insemination and I was wondering if this is something that would then be noted on my NHS medical records, or whether the process would be completely separate. Would a private fertility clinic here or abroad communicate with my NHS GP?

The reason I am asking is I am going through a long and complicated court case as a victim and my medical records may be accessed - they have requested it already, however, I have been warned they may request access again due to the length and multifaceted nature of the case.

My UK private fertility clinic wrote to my GP at points along the way, although they gave me the letters to pass on rather than sending them directly. No idea whether this is typical.

If you're considering treatment abroad, do look carefully into the donor anonymity/ID laws in the country/countries you consider. It's a significant factor to consider in terms of what it will mean to any future child you have, and the setup varies massively between countries. Be aware also that as a single woman, some countries are very open to offering treatment but others aren't.

Best of luck to you!

I am really struggling with the difference in legalities in different countries - ideally a non-anonymous donor would be my preference, but as a single woman it is virtually impossible and it also seems to vary from individual clinics too.

What's your motivation for considering treatment abroad rather than in the UK? In the UK, identifying info about doors is available to donor conceived people when they turn 18 - that was something important to me, and one of the reasons for sticking with UK treatment. (Logistics being another.)

I'm pretty sure Denmark offers ID release donors and allows treatment of single women, so that might be somewhere to look at.

Well, I was considering Spain due to ancestral heritage, but also cost.

Donor ID is important to me, though now I realise that there are so many other routes to contact with family (ie. DNA testing) that it may not even be an issue in 18 - 20 years time.

I would also like more than one child, and this really increases the cost within the UK.

If you're goal is eventual siblings, you may want to consider jumping straight to IVF now. Yes, it's more expensive - but the odds of success are proportionately greater per cycle, and in the best-case scenario you could also have frozen embryos left after a successful cycle, to try for a sibling with (and in that scenario, they'd be embryos from your 36-year-old eggs, so with a greater chance of success than your actual age at that time). It would be very easy to spend the same or more on multiple rounds of IUI, and on paying for a load of sibling sperm to be kept aside for you.

When it comes to donor anonymity, gently, do consider that there is a difference for a child to hear that they will eventually be able to receive identifying information about their donor, who consented to that and is therefore likely anticipating hearing from them one day; versus hearing that they may be able to track down their donor via DNA detective work, but that he donated within a system where he was not expecting ever to have contact with them and may be less open to this.

Thanks persipan - really helpful. Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts. Do you have any recommendations for clinics in England?

Spain is bound by the GDPR which means they CANNOT release your personal information to the NHS without your express consent.

I am currently undergoing treatment in a Spanish clinic and was asked to whom I gave permission for info to be shared (spouse, next of kin, GP etc). To my knowledge, even though I ticked it, they've told my GP nothing at all, I've had to send docs to my own GP to request tests and medication.

My UK clinic said that some patients don't even tell their GP or hospital that they've had IVF, they just pretend it was a natural conception (not recommending this, just remember being surprised by it).
In your case OP I would decline consent for information sharing with your GP and if you want to explain to the clinic then do but you're under no obligation.
As an aside if your medical notes are being shared do you have the option to redact some? I mean if you have piles or a problem with your vulva or anything else private it would seem disproportionate for that to be shared.

I don't have the answer to your original post, but just to respond to these points...

DNA testing will only be accessible if the donor chooses to also have DNA testing. I would hedge a bet that a donor who wants to remain anonymous is not going to be jumping to make himself available on ancestry.com. Please do not assume your child will be able to contact their anonymous donor in 20 years time - this is wishful thinking.

I recommend you save up and have treatment in the UK. There are ID release donors available with Spanish heritage in the UK.

This is really important and should be an absolute priority that your child can find their genetic father if they want to. Please think about them.

@Fauda As others have said, it is best for your child to at least have a chance of identifying their donor for their sake. There are many clnics in the UK of course and I would trust them to be absolutely confidential. Partly because we are one of the few countries to have the HFEA to oversee fertility treatment something many other countries do not have.

I have 16 year old twins via embryo donation in Spain. They only have the age and blood group of their donors and this is not enough for them. They have been very negatively affected by this. Please be aware that countries like Spain really don't have take up of commercial DNA testing and may not do so ever. My daughter has submitted DNA with no luck and is really pissed off that she even has to search as she believes it is her human right to know about her donors from the start.

Other countries with ID release donors are Portugal, Denmark and Sweden. Some Greek clinics allow you to import ID release sperm. However, don't forget that if your child wants to contact their donor/siblings it may be helpful if they speak the same language.

I'm always happy to talk. I would also recommend contacting the Donor Conception Network who can offer advice and support.

C

@TunicFox It is not necessary for the donor to submit DNA as they can be found via other close relatives. Also the donors and siblings may be able to search for your child of course.

It is not necessary for the donor to submit DNA as they can be found via other close relatives. Also the donors and siblings may be able to search for your child of course.

@Carajillo Yes, but do you think a donor who has not agreed to ID will want to meet your child?

There are many, many situations where children find their donors via this method and are disappointed when the donor has no interest in meeting or communicating with them.

I am an unapologetic advocate for ID release donors, all the way, and will shout it from the rooftops. Donor children need to be given the absolute best possible start in terms of chasing their genetic parent, should they wish to. Knowingly doing anything else is just wrong.

@Carajillo Sorry, just realised you're not the OP and you're also advocating for ID release. Early mornining haze!

OP, please consider ID release donors.

@TunicFox It’s fine! I was just pointing out about DNA testing. My DC daughter who is 16 has submitted DNA, but because she was conceived in Spain there is less chance of finding genetic relatives as so many countries are not yet taking up commercial DNA tests.

However, it did tell her more about the donors ethnicity which has been very interesting.

Also, the emergence of DNA testing means that parents with ID release donors can search for them before their child is 18. My daughter wanted to search from the age of 12z