Support - Not a mum yet.

[dogmama1]

I am 30, and my husband has just told me VERY abruptly and unexpectedly that he wants a divorce. After only 14 months... (together for 9) but that topic is for another group I know.

We had planned on starting a family next year, something I've wanted for years, before the wedding in-fact but he wanted to wait until after.

All my friends have had or are having baby's. And I feel completely lost, I know I won't want to commit to another man for a very long time after this divorce. I feel like a failure of a women.

And know it's likely I will investigate doing it alone.. as time isn't really on my side.
just wanting to hear from other women in a similar situation.

How do you cope with the sense of emptiness....
what options have you explored?

I had a long term boyfriend over 10 years - we finished before I turned 30 - met someone else a few months later and have been married 20 years and 3 kids. I was 33 and 35 when they were born.
It’s possible!
A friend did the donor route cost about £5,000 and got lucky first time. She’s since met someone else and have another baby at 39!

Sorry that has happened, I think it must all be very raw right now, but one day in the future you might be looking at your child and thinking thank goodness you aren't tied to exH by a child and don't have his input.

You're not too young to meet someone else, and you're also in a position to go it alone if you prefer. What I'd say is take some time to process this shock, and maybe when you're ready look at the Donor Conception Network and read about some other single mothers by choice.

Thank you @Allsnotwell & @Zankiu for your reply's. I think at the moment I'm in a state of shock and panic.

I am the type of person that when faced with a problem, I find a solution. And I think that's exactly where my mind went too immediately.
I honestly, don't think I'll be interested in meeting someone new anywhere in the near future: I think I've had my load of men for the time being. I've had two long term relationships now, one 9 years (childhood sweetheart) who prolifically cheated on me. And now my 2bXH.... who has turned out to be anything but what he promised to be. I feel I no longer want to put myself in a position where my life and its direction is dictated by the hands of a man. And I definitely don't want to commit myself to someone else on the premises I can have all these things with, to then have it stripped away and it be even later in my life.

I have been absolutely taken for a ride. And I need to take back control of my life and what I want out of it. And I figure if I meet the one in the future, if he's the right one, he'll slot into my life with a baby of my own or not.. but I'll have what really matters.

@Allsnotwell it's really reassuring to hear your experience though and that of your friends.. thank you for sharing that with me. I have been looking more into IUI treatment, as it's less invasive and with age on my side, hopefully would be ok. But, that's for another day. I was seeking reassurance out of this post I guess...
when you find yourself in these situations, sometimes it's hard not to feel like your the only person ever to be here. It's a very lonely place.