Just turned 35, proceed or wait?

[laina27]

Hello, I'm 35 and single for 5 years. Desperate to be a mum and have financial means and family support to go it alone but have a preference for my kids to have a father.

I'm conscious of all of the things that could go wrong with a relationship even if I do find someone and if I dont find someone and wait until I'm 38 to go get a donor, it might be more difficult to conceive. I have a good AMH level (21) and my mother had her last child at 44. My parents are getting older and for the next 5 years they could support practically.

Should I go ahead or keep searching for a suitable man?
I spend hours going over and over this decision on my head and it's driving me mad.
Would appreciate your thoughts

Given that you have the financial stability and family support I'd say go for it now. Mr Right might not arrive in time so I wouldn't want to wait on the off chance, especially if you might want more than one. Good luck x

Hi. 38 years old. Desperate for baby. Planning on being single mother by choice. What’s the cheapest clinic in UK? What’s the cheapest clinic in Denmark?

I would. Don’t leave it to chance.
i was a single mum as DD’s bio dad left me when I was 5 months pregnant. She has never met him. Thank god.

Another solo parent by choice, here. I started trying at like 37-38, and it ultimately took until I was 43, and switching to donor eggs, to get to the point where I had my son. So, with that in mind, I can see an argument for just cracking on now.

However, for me, I first came to realise that I didn't feel any need to be in a relationship - and, indeed, that I see being single as a positive, in many ways. So there's an argument, on that side of things, that if a relationship is something you'd really value and ideally prefer, then maybe seeking that relationship is the place to focus your energies for now.

A couple of thoughts. First, why not go and get some counselling to think this through? Implications counselling is generally required anyway when embarking on donor treatment, so you should be able to access or be referred to this through a fertility clinic and it may give you a space to think this through. And secondly, as has been mentioned already, maybe consider freezing your eggs? The process is essentially just the first half of IVF anyway, and the technology has progressed a lot in recent years making it a better prospect than it used to be. It would have the advantage of keeping your options open for the future, whether that's solo or as part of a couple.

Best of luck!

I would wait max a year controlling AMH every 6 months. AMH might get worse; however, I know ladies aged 25 with very low AMH, and women 40+ who conceived naturally without any issues.

I say go for it 😊 I'm a single mother by choice. I had my ds at 35, he's now 12 weeks old. I was in relationships with men who messed me around re kids and decided to take things into my own hands. I don't know if I want to bother with relationships anymore if I'm brutally honest!

Someone posted something kind of rude earlier in the thread. Unfortunately it's something you have to get used to. I didn't realise there was still a stigma around single parents before I became one.

Odds for IUI are not good, it cost thousands for one attempt which luckily worked but the odds were 11% and decrease as you get older.

Good luck 😉