Egg Donor Recipient Enquiry

[BusterIndieJR]

Hello,
I wonder if there is anybody out there that can give me some advice please? I'm new to this mumsnet but feel it's time I started reaching out.
I am a few weeks shy of my 40th Birthday and having been trying to conceive for 10 years. Me and my partner have had 4 cycles of IVF, 1 conventional and 3 ICSI, our 5th cycle was postponed due to the start of the pandemic in 2020 but way and behold, we had conceived and I was pregnant naturally. Sadly at 13 weeks I miscarried. 2 years pass and I have just had a 2nd miscarriage, this was at 5 weeks. We have now started looking into our 5th cycle again but have been advised by our consultant to consider an egg donor. I have a low ovarian reserve and they are giving me a 10% chance of success with a 5th IVF cycle. For that I appreciate their honestly but considering an egg donor for my first and possibly my only child is frightening.

I welcome your comments.

What is frightening you?

Have you asked the clinic where you will be treated what the odds of a pregnancy carried to term is with donor egg in each cycle?

By the way I did the following calculation for a 30% chance of pregnancy carried to term:

100 people (or couples): 30% successful pregnancy after 1st cycle = 30 people

70 people have second cycle: 30% successful = 21 people

49 people have third cycle: 30% successful = 14 people

In this scenario I am envisaging first cycle fresh 2nd and 3rd frozen so not 3x cost of one cycle.

30 + 21 + 14 = 65 out of 100 people/couples with a successful pregnancy after up to 3 cycles.

I’m sorry for your losses 💐

I can understand the uncertainty around using a donor sperm or egg especially if this wasn't in your original plan.

We used a sperm donor for both our kids as we are in a SS relationship. We always knew this would be the route chosen so had a long time to think about it.

The relationship we have with both our kids is no different and at the end of the day, it will be something you totally overlook once they're here.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

I think it's completely understandable. Really, it's a whole different ball game so I would imagine you are going to have to think about it all over again. Read about other people who have used donors and research it all. I think it's a decision that only you can make for yourself.