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On the Mumsnet Donor Conception forum, you can discuss sperm and egg donation with people in the same situation.

Donor conception

New to this...would love to connect with others

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AuburnAmbition · 10/01/2022 19:00

Hello Everyone,
I am new to this forum and would love to connect with other women who have gone or are going through a similar process.
My situation in a nutshell: I am a recently turned 34 year old woman, straight and single. I am a professional and rent a beautiful apartment by the sea. Nearly 6 months ago, my heart was broken by the man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
I have for a long time wanted to be a mother and feel now I have reached the age where I need to take action rather than just thinking about it and hoping 'the one' will walk into my life.
This year, I will be starting the process of finding a man to have a platonic elective co-parent arrangement with. I would like to explore this route before sperm donation as I have always wanted an active father in my future children's lives and for them to know who their dad is, as I feel it's important.
I also will be having a fertility check at a local clinic to get an overview over how long I have to conceive naturally. Ideally, I am looking to have a child in about 4 years if I am able to (around age 38) to allow me to further develop in my career and earn a higher salary. However, I feel it's imperative to get the wheels in motion now to allow plenty of time to get to know a potential co-parent and get any legalities agreed upon. Also, if I am unable to find a suitable co-parent then it will also give me time to fully explore plan b which is the sperm donor option, however, I hope to not have to go down this route if I can help it.
Obviously, this has been an emotional decision for me to make and I fully expect the journey to be an emotional and not an easy one. I don't know any men personally who I could co-parent with, so will need to look into the various sites which connect people like me who want to co-parent with another on a platonic basis but who want to play a very active role in the child's life. I am certainly not looking for romance; my priority is to have a child rather than a romantic partner.
I would love to speak with anyone who has been through or going through the same situation as me who could give me any guidance and offer support as I embark down this road. I do feel nervous and a little scared, as I didn't expect to be in this situation, so if anyone can reach out to me I would love to hear from you!

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