Tell me your experiences, good and bad!

[cakelover25]

So basically at the beginning of the year, DH and I divorced due to his inability to keep it in his pants. We have 2 young children together DS(3) and DD (2).

My house is paid for (no mortgage) thanks in large part to my inheritance when my grand mother died. I have substantial savings as well as a very high income.

I always dreamt of a large family and feel I have the love and finances to make that dream a reality, even if it means doing it alone, children mean more to me than a partner.

I'm therefore considering both sperm donors as well as adoption later on.

What are your experiences of using a sperm donor? Thanks!

Hi not the same circumstances as you but my DH and I have a son via sperm donation.

Somethings to consider are: with IVF there chance of it working is slim. So many things can affect this.

How would you feel if it didn’t work? How many tries would you be comfortable with? I mean it can cost thousands and thousands and still may not have the result you want.

The drugs etc can be gruelling. I was lucky I had very little side affects aside from one bad reaction to one drug.

Who will be there for your other children as there are lots of hospital appointments?

With regards to sperm donor itself choosing one for us took time as we wanted to get it right. Are you comfortable with them contacting them at 18?

What will you tell your donor child? It should always be put in the open and not some secret as understanding your genetic makeup is so important.

My other concern would be how to ensure the child was treated equally to the other two. You won’t have the same stories of things like ‘ yes you are tall like your daddy’s brother’ etc that you would naturally say about the other two.

I love my DS he is my world but it was the hardest thing choosing to go down that route. The best decision my husband and I have made.

Adoption might be slightly different but if your ex husband is still fairly involved in your other children's lives, you might want to explore how a donor conceived child might feel about that - potential jealousy or upset that his/her brother and sister have a Dad but he/she doesn't (option of possible contact with the donor at age 18 set aside, as there are no guarantees of contact).

I'm not trying to put you off donor conception - I'm a pregnant Solo Mum to be who used donor sperm myself (but it is my first/probably only child so a different situation to you). But it might be worth contacting the Donor Conception Network charity - they can advice you and likely put you in touch with other families who have both "fully genetic" and donor conceived children.