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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

Opinions from sperm donor recipients needed

7 replies

smileygirl1995 · 27/10/2021 19:36

Hello need a few opinions from fellow recipients, So I have a sperm donor sorted however because of where he is it costs a lot for him to travel down, long story short I'm just after some opinions of what other people might do, I have enough money for two donations but it's wether I split that up and do one this month and one next month or to do two this month and hope to god this time works....?
What do people think one donation this month or two???
I'm planning on becoming a single mother by choice so in this situation I'd like to hear from other people as I don't have a partner to talk through with and I'm torn as to what to do I can only afford 2 more donations otherwise I risk not having any money to bring a child up....any help on what to do anyone else got caught with just one donation ????

OP posts:
DressedUpAtAnIvy · 27/10/2021 19:40

How much is this guy charging you that it would affect your ability to afford to bring up a child? Sounds a bit worrying.
Average is 10 goes so your money might not go very far.

TwinklyBranch · 27/10/2021 19:41

I don't think I'd be having a child at all if I had that little money.

smileygirl1995 · 27/10/2021 19:56

I probably worded that wrong, I have enough money to raise them don't panic lol
I basically set myself a sort of budget I suppose and I've got to the end of that so now wondering on how to do this last one weather to do two this month and go all out or wether to do 1 this month and 1 next

OP posts:
fallfallfall · 27/10/2021 20:17

What are your cycles like and do you have fertility issues yourself? Have you tracked ovulation?

TheCheeseBadge · 27/10/2021 21:39

If you went via a fertility clinic for IUI you would only have one insemination per month, and you would use ovulation sticks to make sure it was timed correctly.

Is your donor able to travel at very short notice to make sure you're insemination at the correct time? If you consider that your ovulation test might be negative one day and positive the next, and timing is essential?

Also I mean this kindly but you sound like you're not especially knowledgeable about the process so I wonder how you've met the donor (and why on Earth he's charging you so much money!), what you know about any other children he has fathered, whether you have protected yourself in case he decides to pursue you for access etc.

You also need to look at it from any potential childrens' perspective. Is he happy to be contacted by the child? Will you keep up regular contact throughout their life or just when they turn 18? Will your donor update you with contact details etc when they change to facilitate that contact? Will he facilitate you finding potential biological siblings?

Lots of donor conceived children won't care about any or some of the above, but lots will. Understanding biological heritage is important, even if it is just from a medical perspective.

This is not in any way judgemental, I have donor conceived children myself, but had to go through implications counselling when I went via the fertility clinic, and these are the kind of things they ask you. As you're using a private donor, I'm assuming you won't have had the counselling so the questions may not have occurred to you.

Best of luck with everything Flowers

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 31/10/2021 01:06

What is he charging you? Is it travel expenses and hotel?

I've been trying with usually one donation per month and have conceived once but miscarried.

It is expensive as I'm travelling to him and usually stay in a hotel but compared to IUI, it's huge amounts cheaper.

I would prefer to stay longer and have several donations over several days but logistics make that difficult. I might forever regret that I didn't try that if I don't manage to conceive.

Madwife123 · 31/10/2021 02:01

It’s illegal to charge for or pay for sperm donation in this way so I really hope he isn’t charging you! It should expenses only.

I’m a lesbian and my youngest child is donor conceived. She cost us a grand total of £40. Maybe look on pride angel and find a donor that isn’t making money for you.

Also look VERY carefully at the law as a sperm donor outside of a clinic is legally the father and can claim access etc. My partner adopted our child very quickly which removed his rights and took away the risk that in the future he may change his mind. As you are single this will not be the case for you and so if in 3 years time he decides he wants to be a dad to the baby how would you feel?

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