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Donor conception

Single, considering donor sperm via IUI

19 replies

sphynxguernsey · 12/08/2021 16:29

Hi

New here! I'm 35. Been single forever! I've explored the adoption route but I'm leaning towards possibly using donor sperm. It's not that I don't want to adopt, but I don't feel ready to completely rule out a biological child option at this stage.

Is anyone going through this at the moment?

I've signed up with a clinic close by and have an online seminar next week for a q&a session with them.

I'm conscious I'm considered geriatric in fertility due to my age!! I know success rates around 11%.

Just looking for people in similar situations!

Thanks Smile

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Yardley42 · 13/08/2021 16:03

I'm just on my first try at age 36. Had my IUI a week ago and doing the dreaded two week wait at the moment. As you say, chances are pretty low each time but 🤞

Would definitely recommend having a fertility MOT at a clinic to start you off. Mine have been so lovely at every stage. There's quite a lot of steps - tests and things to think about and finding a donor can take a while, so worth getting started and seeing where you get to.

Good luck! X

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sphynxguernsey · 17/08/2021 09:20

Ohhh how exciting!!! Good luck!!! I am still weighing up IUI vs IVF at the moment! It's a lot to think about x

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IamnotwhouthinkIam · 17/08/2021 22:24

I'm single, 40 and finally pregnant after my 2nd IVF with donor sperm - it's taken nearly 3 years of trying with multiple failed IUI's and 2 cycles of IVF and it's still early days yet (I'm at higher risk for loss so really nervous).

My AMH was a bit low for my age, although my FSH, other bloods, AFC and scans including HSG were fine. I don't know if it was my low AMH or something about the sperm donor that my IUI's and first IVF didn't work (I changed donor for the second IVF), but hopefully all your results will be good and IUI works for you. Good luck!

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sphynxguernsey · 18/08/2021 08:08

@IamnotwhouthinkIam

I'm single, 40 and finally pregnant after my 2nd IVF with donor sperm - it's taken nearly 3 years of trying with multiple failed IUI's and 2 cycles of IVF and it's still early days yet (I'm at higher risk for loss so really nervous).

My AMH was a bit low for my age, although my FSH, other bloods, AFC and scans including HSG were fine. I don't know if it was my low AMH or something about the sperm donor that my IUI's and first IVF didn't work (I changed donor for the second IVF), but hopefully all your results will be good and IUI works for you. Good luck!

Thank you! I attended a virtual webinar last night with the clinic. I think I'm leaning towards ivf. The success rates for IUI are lower and my finances are not huge so I'm leaning towards going straight for ivf. Think I'll have enough for 3 rounds.

Just taking the rest of this year to lose weight and cut out the booze so I can hopefully increase me chances

Congrats!! How exciting. I hope all goes well for you!!!
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Zibidee · 23/08/2021 22:19

We went straight to IVF even though I don't have fertility issues, simple due to cost of sperm, £2500 just for 2 vials, and only 10% chance at my age of 39.
It was cheaper to do one round of IVF, with hopefully the option of further frozen cycles, than to do multiple rounds of iui with donor sperm.
But warning, just done egg retrieval today and so far the process has been very invasive and now in lots of pain. So don't take the decision lightly. Money is only one factor.

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TTCSOLO · 23/08/2021 22:33

I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant, I was successful on my second IUI, I'm also 35 and single. I did medicated cycles, after having fertility tests at my clinic. I'd definitely recommend getting your fertility tests done before making a decision for IUI or IVF. My Dr recommended to try 3 IUI's then move to IVF, but again with cost involved I had thought about using my 3rd vial of donor sperm to go straight to IVF.

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Goodtohear · 23/08/2021 22:54

I have 3 dc via IUI with doner sperm.
A singleton and twins.
In total I had 6 rounds of IUI. It was definitely a roller-coaster ride getting to this point but worth it (and I say that as a mother of 3 teenagers!)
Best of luck.

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IamnotwhouthinkIam · 24/08/2021 00:00

Often if you are mid thirties or older then clinics will push you towards IVF as it's success rates are much better - but it's really good if you can afford more than one IVF cycle as the first one is sometimes a bit experimental in terms of seeing how you react to the medications (so they can change/refine if necessary in any subsequent cycles).

Medicated IUI is a kind of "halfway house" - better odds than IUI without using any meds but also raises the risk of multiples because the meds will usually encourage your body to release more than 1 egg (and several goes of it at age 38 still didn't work for me - but you might be more lucky being younger).

Personally I had no issues injecting myself or with any of the drugs for IUI/IVF - my biggest difficulty was gritting my teeth through transfer, as I unfortunately find speculums really painful and you have to have that whether you have IVF or IUI! I was nervous but both egg collections were also not a problem for me - they sedate you so you shouldn't feel any pain at the time and it was just like bad period cramps afterwards imo, which I'm used to.

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sphynxguernsey · 24/08/2021 08:59

Thank you everyone!!! I have my initial consultation with the clinic on 14th September. In the mean time I need bloods and an AFC scan so the clinic can decide what's the best option.

I must say the egg retrieval process looks horrendous!! I am hoping those are some strong drugs! Confused

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IsabelHerna · 26/08/2021 10:07

Hi OP,

I am 39yo and single as well and starting my IVF journey soon too.

I wish I was brave enough to make this decision for myself earlier, so good luck and a huge bravo for taking this step!

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sphynxguernsey · 26/08/2021 10:39

@IsabelHerna

Hi OP,

I am 39yo and single as well and starting my IVF journey soon too.

I wish I was brave enough to make this decision for myself earlier, so good luck and a huge bravo for taking this step!

Thanks for your reply. Have you had any tests or consultations yet? Good luck in your journey!!
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Marty13 · 03/09/2021 03:00

Hello ! I made the decision to do this in summer 2017. I was woefully ignorant about some very basic biology and not very aware of the low odds of success (I have since educated myself a fair deal).

Nevertheless I was pretty lucky. I was 30 years old in summer 2017 when I decided to do this and my journey was as follows :

  • 1IUI : failed
  • 2IUI : success. Baby boy born late 2018
  • 3IUI : failure
  • 4IUI : success then miscarriage
  • 5IUI : failure (I was under a lot of stress)
  • 6IUI : success. Baby boy born mid 2020.


I am now 34 years old, going on 35 and undecided about a potential third (and last for sure) child. I have a few straws left that I might (or might not) use from the same donor. I have already decided that having two children from the same donor I will not use another so if I use up the last straws and it doesn't work that will be it. I am at peace with that possible outcome.

Have you thought about how many children you want and whether you'd want them to be full siblings ? You have to think about it before starting as that may impact your choice of donor.

Also thinking about what to tell the children as they grow up (personally there's never been any other option than full honesty from the very beginning. I have already told my eldest, almost 3, in an age appropriate way).

Being a single parent is hard but I have never regretted it for a second and I have more than once congratulated myself for doing it. There is no doubt in my mind that it was the right call for me and I'm very happy ! I am still single and I don't see that changing any time soon (I am frankly not particularly interested in finding a partner and never have been very fussed about it).

But yeah it is relentless so if you have some friends or family who are able and willing to help you that is definitely an asset. Help might be anything from bringing you groceries to taking baby for a couple of hours while you rest, or just giving you a bit of adult company.

I would highly recommand making sure you have a close friend/family member staying at your place for a few days after the birth as you may find walking difficult and painful (depending on how it went).

But yeah a hundred percent worth doing. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more :)
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TinyTroubleMaker · 18/11/2021 05:33

Those who have taken the IUI route, any clinic recommendations? I'm East Midlands with regular travel to London.

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Takemetothe90s · 18/11/2021 05:50

@sphynxguernsey

Thank you everyone!!! I have my initial consultation with the clinic on 14th September. In the mean time I need bloods and an AFC scan so the clinic can decide what's the best option.

I must say the egg retrieval process looks horrendous!! I am hoping those are some strong drugs! Confused

It’s not a nice process but so worth it!!!
I had ivf at 35 as a single woman and was successful first time. Have a lovely 5 yo girl now
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Takemetothe90s · 18/11/2021 05:51

@TinyTroubleMaker

Those who have taken the IUI route, any clinic recommendations? I'm East Midlands with regular travel to London.

For iui have you considered Denmark?
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TinyTroubleMaker · 18/11/2021 17:38

Takeme no, just started thinking of I'm going to do it at all I had better do some research and get on with it. Is Denmark better than other countries?

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AuburnAmbition · 13/01/2022 19:18

Hi All,
Thought I'd join in the conversation and say hello.
I've recently turned 34 and single. I attended a webinar with a local fertility clinic last night as I'm considering my options.
The first step is to get a fertility MOT and go from there, but am starting to think just skip to IVF in any event, as the success rates are higher and you could potentially spend ££££'s on IUI with no success.
What are everyone's experiences of conceiving as a solo mum with IVF in their mid-30s?
Would love to connect with others going through similar experiences!

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Anthurium · 14/01/2022 00:34

@AuburnAmbition

Not sure if it's relevant as I was late 30s when I conceived (39).

I did IUI aged 38 which failed - I'd been initially advised to go straight to IVF as I have a blocked fallopian tube but I wanted to try IUI with a sperm donor first (the other fallopian tube is patent) and it was less invasive/less costly treatment. I took a 6 month break and did IVF with a sperm donor (fresh cycle) Feb 2021 and was successful on my first go (with several high quality embryos left to freeze). My AMH and ovarian reserve were very good for my age. I was extremely lucky. As well as having luck with my genetics.

The pregnancy and birth went well without any issues/complications. Again, I was extremely lucky.

My baby boy was born ain Nov and so far it's been very intense! I don't have any family nearby; I do have a very good friend who visits me often and provides support such as doing the occasional shopping for me/washes up dishes etc small tasks and favours. It's me and the baby 24/7.

It's tough, relentless and full on, but this I'd what I wanted because the thought of not having my own family was heart breaking... Slightly off the topic here, it was just awful dating in mid to late 30s panicking over whether this would happen for me or not...and I'm grateful every day for this chance.

PM me if there's anything else you'd like to know; each woman's journey here is very individual but it's good to hear some positive stories.

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TTCSOLO · 14/01/2022 08:54

Hi, I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant from my second round of medicated cycle IUI with a donor. I'm 35. If the fertility test results are good I would consider IUI, it is much less invasive than IVF. I had my fertility tests in March 21, and did the 1st round of IUI in May. That wasn't successful, but kept the same protocol for round 2 which was successful.

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