Sperm donor advice for idiots

[TtcBebeNo2]

Posting for my sister who is not IT savvy whatsoever!!!

Hi everyone

I am in a same sex couple and we are so ready to start our family but have no idea where to start! I’ve tried to do my research but would love some advice from people that may have been in our shoes and have any tips etc. I feel like I’m going round in circles and not learning anything or getting anywhere!!

To put it bluntly what are the cheapest options for a same sex female couple to buy sperm? We would like to be able to view donors profiles and have the options to buy the rights to that sperm so that we can use them again once we are ready for baby number two.

We want IUI - I will be going first and my partner will go next (after a few years).

Any help/advice/info would be truly appreciated.

My advice to your sister...
Look at the Donor Conception Network site if you haven't already - excellent for both information and discussion.
Secondly, make sure that your donor is thorough checked out by a reputable organisation and not just a glossy profile on a website.
Thirdly, accept that donor children need to be able to know about their donor. Anonymity is neither ethical nor possible those days with DNA linking so easy.
I was donor conceived myself and very happy with it!

Start by choosing a clinic. You will see that limits the sperm banks you can use. Not all clinics will accept all banks and some clinics will have their own bank.
All sperm banks will have a donor profile, some more extensive than others; some don't have it online but will send you their available catalogue by email.
Prices will vary, with international banks (US, Denmark...) being cheaper than UK ones when you look at the price per sample. Factor in as well the transport costs, import admin fees and storage fees from your clinic.
Think how many cycles you are prepared to do and the cumulative cost of ordering each straw individually vs bulk order, especially if you want straws for future use. Some banks offer bulk order discounts.
The UK requires a pregnancy slot to limit the number of families using the same donor. Some banks charge extra for that and have a time limit on the use of the slot. If you don't use the sperm or declare a pregnancy within that time frame, you might need to pay extra to extend the slot, so check the fine print and clarify all the details about the pregnancy slot of your chosen bank, otherwise it can make a seamingly cheaper option much more expensive. A pregancy slot will be yours for siblings so once you declare a pregnancy/live birth you will not need to extend it for future use but availability of the same donor is never guaranteed unless your purchase all the straws in advance. But also bear in mind that a donor could withdraw consent at any point before a sample being used, even if you purchased it, so having it stored at your clinic is not a guarantee you will be able to use it for siblings.
Lastly, check the motility after thaw and confirm it with your chosen bank. Thawed sperm count is significantly less than fresh sperm and some cheaper samples will only be good for ivf/icsi, so go for the highest MOT possible for IUI. Your clinic will tell you the minimum they accept per type of treatment.
Check also the bank refund policy if the minimum motility guaranteed is not available after thaw. Some banks will offer a replacement sample or refund in case of poor quality after thaw.
I hope this helps your sister.

The cheapest sperm would likely be directly through your UK clinic - so you'd need to find a clinic that recruits it's own donors. But bear in mind that if you do that, there will probably be very few donors available so you might have little choice in matching your/ your partners physical characteristics etc.

Next cheapest would likely be through a bigger UK sperm bank (London sperm bank, Semovo etc). You'll might have slightly more choice of donors (although there is a shortage at the moment because of Covid) but most UK clinics will accept sperm from another UK bank.

Most expensive is generally the international banks (Xytex, Fairfax, Californian Sperm bank, European Sperm bank etc). The initial price of the sperm is often cheaper but by the time you add on shipping costs (and the "pregnancy slot" if you use the European bank) it often works out slightly more expensive than UK options. BUT if you buy in bulk at once (for multiple IUI's/future siblings) you'd save on shipping each time so it could work out cheaper overall or roughly the same as the UK banks. Benefits are more choice of donors and often more information about the donors, cons are that not every UK clinic has a license to import from every international bank (you need to check with your clinic), plus often more potential siblings around the world.

In case this helps with knowing costs, I went with London Sperm Bank. Each vial costs around £1,000. You can easily browse the catalogue without even being registered. The sperm bank abroad ended up being significantly more by the time you pay for import taxes as well as storage over here.