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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

Original poster

Donor embryo

11 replies

suzylee73 · 15/05/2021 12:03

Hi, after failed IVF and a failed egg donation we are looking at maybe an embryo donor as a final last chance. I am scared to try again and fail, you know how hard it is but I'm scared to not try at the same time!

Anyone done this and have any advice or clinic recommendations?

OP posts:
tourist36 · 15/05/2021 16:52

That must be terrifying! I just had an embryo transfer with a donor egg. I know it does not compare to the embryo donor situation.
I had cold feet the day before as it suddenly dawned on me ( although we had discussed it before) that this child genetically will not be mine. I dread the day he/she shouts in anger “ you are not my real mum” and I don’t know how I would deal with them finding the egg donor, calling them mum and forge a closer a link. My husband insists that will not happen with love and affection but I do not see it like that.

bitheby · 15/05/2021 23:14

@tourist36

That must be terrifying! I just had an embryo transfer with a donor egg. I know it does not compare to the embryo donor situation. I had cold feet the day before as it suddenly dawned on me ( although we had discussed it before) that this child genetically will not be mine. I dread the day he/she shouts in anger “ you are not my real mum” and I don’t know how I would deal with them finding the egg donor, calling them mum and forge a closer a link. My husband insists that will not happen with love and affection but I do not see it like that.

Did you not have implications counselling to talk about how you would handle things like this?

I've been asked to consider it OP. I feel better about embryo donation than egg donation tbh as I'm single and TTC with a sperm donor already so if I have no genetic connection to the child then it feels ethically better to bring a child into the world who otherwise wouldn't have lived and has already been created. If that makes sense?

Still I hoping I conceive with the donor so don't have to go down that route.

tourist36 · 16/05/2021 10:30

I had one counselling session and to be honest I was totally fine until a friend called me on the day of the transfer saying she could not stay silent on this matter and had to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into.

The reality of the matter is that we are doing it for our own needs/wants/ desires and it’s no favour to the embryo.

Original poster
suzylee73 · 18/05/2021 12:44

Thanks for your thoughts :)
I have found a clinic in the UK and I'm just going to go for it! I don't much mind it not being mine genetically as its a choice between that or remain childless.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 08/06/2021 08:26

Good luck OP!

Angliski · 23/08/2021 21:48

Mines snoring next door. Good luck!

Maimaimai · 05/03/2022 17:57

@suzylee73

Hi Op, I know this is an older post, I would like to know how did it go for you? X

Original poster
suzylee73 · 05/03/2022 18:11

@Maimaimai
Hi,
Life threw me a curve ball! I'm a foster carer and I was asked to look after a baby. She is probably going for adoption and if that happens I am going to adopt her x It's funny how life can change so quickly and unexpectedly

OP posts:
Maimaimai · 05/03/2022 18:55

@suzylee73 thank you for replying so quickly. Yes, life works in mysterious ways :). I hope all goes well with the adoption x

SmolCat · 05/03/2022 19:00

I know this is an old thread but I’m glad it worked out for you @suzylee73

@tourist36 your friend is... a lot.

bitheby · 08/04/2022 15:41

Oh wow! This is almost my dream scenario. I'm still trying to conceive with a donor and giving up hope.

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