Decision to buy more donor sperm?

[2mumlife]

Hi everyone. We've been TTC with donor sperm for awhile now. Originally bought 6 vials. 4 spent on BFN IUIs. 1 used during fresh IVF round only 2 embryos (1 failed fresh transfer, 1 FET transfer planned later this month).

We have 1 vial left, and have paid up for 1 more fresh round of IVF (and all FET transfers) if needed.

The plan was always to try going for 2 kids. Ideally I'd like the same donor for both, as we spent a lot of time finding a donor we felt comfortable with. I know our donor has vials becoming available again soon, and I'm not sure whether we should just bite the bullet and buy some more hoping we're successfull eventually, or whether I'm throwing more money away if we never even get baby #1.

What have others done? When have others bought additional donor sperm and how did you make that decision?

Thanks for the advice in advance

I’d get more! We were only planning on having 1 as it was such a slog to get here but now only have 1 vial left and no chance of any more. Better if you can afford it to pay the money and the storage to have the option later.

@BuffyFanForever Thanks for views - its frustrating when you're down to 1 vial isn't it? I guess I'm just finding it hard to try to think ahead to doing this again when #1 is taking such a long time and effort. But I don't want to be kicking myself for not doing it, and it took a lot to find a donor we liked and I don't want to be trying to find another donor and comparing I guess! We could afford it with savings, if I just close my eyes to another chunk of cash and just do it (I've just accepted the financial costs a long time ago, and accepted we just can't watch the pennies on this one).

Check with the sperm bank to see if you can buy more but have them store it rather than getting it shipped to your clinic. I know the European Sperm Bank does this and refunds up to 75% of the cost for the sperm if you decide not to use it. Other banks might do it too.

Ingkir has a good point! I know Cryos take bank unusual vials and give a little refund, only 10 percent or something but better than nothing so other banks might also. If you had asked me if I’d go through ivf again after being successful any time in the previous 5 years I would have said no! If you had asked me when I was pregnant I would also have said never again...I’ve just had tests and consultation ready to start all over again. I’m aware I may be absolutely nuts! Good luck with deciding x

@ingkir We're with ESB and actually forgot about this option so thank you! They're also offering 6 months storage for free, so I think we might do that and see what position we're in after that.

@BuffyFanForever Good luck for going again! Most the time I think I'd just be grateful for 1 / do I really want to go through this again! But I still think I would if we're lucky and get success eventually.

@2mumlife - it’s so hard to make decisions like this, isn’t it! The one thing I would say is that I have tried with two different donors and the difference in success rates between the two has been mind blowing. Donor 1, I have had three rounds and over those rounds got 17 blastocysts (7 of those have been genetically tested, of which 5 are good, 1 no result). Donor 2, two rounds, 3 blastocysts in total (all genetically tested and one was good). My protocols were pretty similar across all five rounds, and donor 1 was rounds 1, 2 and 5 so it’s definitely not just due to age. I did give myself a good rest before 5, and also decreased meds, so there may be other reasons: but I do feel I just had much better comparability with donor 1.

It might be worth asking your clinic if they see any likely benefit in shifting sperm in terms of your success rates, before you make a decision?

Compatibility, not comparability!

I should also have said they were both from the same clinic, so it’s not about quality. Both had been fully genetically tested etc, and my wife is actually currently pregnant with donor 2 (hence me trying to use him too). I just think sometimes it is about match. But maybe I’m talking rubbish! Just wanted to share.

@Shamoo Thanks for tips, not something I'd really considered differences between donors. We had a rubbish egg collection which was my fault (I didn't respond as expected to stims, and clinic already has different protocol for me if we do fresh cycle ahain) - the only 2 mature eggs we got though both made brilliant day 5 embryos, so I reckon donor is good :)

We tried twice with donor 1; didn’t work so moved onto donor 2. Got pregnant first time and then bought more of his sperm as wanted two children with same donor if possible.

Fell pregnant first time again so I think donor compatibility is a thing. Now have two full bio siblings.

@lots33 Wow, you have been incredibly lucky!

Apologies for all the typos in my messages, barely made any sense!
We tried with 4 different donors over the years and it does make a difference. Our clinic said that sometimes you just aren’t compatible biologically and it won’t work. Interesting really. Our first donor that we loved and spent 6 months choosing, back when cryos could still ship to private homes, after trying for 6 months we were sent an email saying they had found out that he had a “severe and life limiting genetic condition which had been confirmed to have been found in his offspring” that was such a shock!

@BuffyFanForever Wow, that would have been a shock! I thought they did thorough background checks on these things? I guess it may be something the donor wasn't aware of. Its interesting idea that you can just have some donors you aren't 'compataible' with... I wonder how that happens/occurs?

Now having a conversation with clinic as its actually their non-preferred straw type available (we could go ahead still but they recommend having extra in case they need to use 2 straws for a cycle) so no decisions yet.

Our lack of working seems to be me so far (evening though I'm only 31, I've normal AMH, normal weight yadda yadda) but its worth keeping in mind whether donor just doesn't work for us (but 100% ferilitation rate of mature eggs to day 5 suggests that bits fine - its just getting an embryo to stick...)

@2mumlife the worst bit of all of this is the whole “it just takes time” thing and it will work when it works. So irritating to hear and unhelpful....but true. Maybe it being the wrong kind of preparation for your clinic is abit of a sign?