@Zibidee Heya - so I was in the place you are when I started this thread and was totally overwhelmed because of the different info I had received from Jose vs the doctor.
Now I am all settled with it and this is the process I have completed. (I'm on NHS, so this might be different for private)
Firstly we had to decide for ourselves whether we have IVF or IUI. The doctor will not make this decision for you, unless there are medical reasons you cannot have one or the other. I'm 32 and have decided to go straight for IVF, mainly because of the success rates and the cost of sperm vials.
Next, choose sperm donor from the banks on the email Jose would have sent you, the more you look the more simpler this process will be in your mind until you find the one. (when I first looked I had no clue what I was supposed to be doing, but it got easier). Once you put in filters such as 'UK', 'ethnicity', 'MOT20' (or whatever MOT you need) you will be left with very few donors if any from each bank.
Book the counselling at the same time as you are doing the above process (choosing donor), neither one has to come first. This is a requirement by King's, they go through a form with you which King's require. I went with Claude Rennert who we found wonderful (but I'm sure the other two are just as good).
Once your sperm is chosen then drop Jose a message to let him know to expect your bank to be in contact with him. Im using Xytex USA and they have been brilliant. I nudge Jose and Xytex from time to time to check that the process of paperwork is happening.
If you haven't been booked in already, call King's and book your blood test and your nurse consultation. (My doctor told me he would arrange for these to be booked in, that never happened, so I called up and Oliver booked them for me there and then). The sperm has to be at King's before you have your nurse consultation. My nurse consultation is at the end of this month, but my sperm has not been shipped to King's yet as I only purchase a couple of weeks ago, however I will be chasing the bank and Jose to make sure that it is shipped in time (It takes 2 days to ship and the paperwork process takes about two weeks).
The nurse consultation is to run through the treatment plan, the timings, when to book appointment to start treatment etc.
What I am saying above, might not be fact, but that's what the process has been for me, and is someone had told me this a month ago, I would have been in a lot better mental place than I was when I first started.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Good luck! x