Should I have a second child with donor eggs?

[Vintagemum76]

I'm very lucky to have a child as a result of IVF but I worry about her being an only child. I'm 43 and I've been told that my success with IVF a second time are low but I'd have a good chance with donor eggs. I'm worried how I would feel not knowing I was genetically related and I worry that I wouldn't feel the same about both children. Has anyone experience of having a donor child and their own child. Thanks

I'd suggest contacting the Donor Conception Network charity @Vintagemum76 . They should be able to advise you and possibly put you in touch with people who have been in the same situation as you. I've read that they also have a booklet about it called "Mixed Blessings" - designed for families who have children conceived both with and without donor help.

Under UK law, you would also need to have donor implication counselling if you went through a UK clinic anyway - which would help you explore your feelings towards donor conception before you began the process.

Thanks so much, that's very useful! I'll look into this.

Vintage Mum,
I have a 10 year old (natural conception) and 3 year old twins (donor eggs). Trust when I say you will love donor egg baby as much as your own, we have never once given it a 2nd thought and those wee ones are as much me as 1st child.
We did not share our fertility journey with any family or friends so always makes me proud when friends say they look like me!
Hope this helps and if difference between having a successful pregnancy or not is using donor eggs I'd definitely say go for it.

Thank you that's so lovely to hear and has eased my worries on it not feeling the same.

Hi @Vintagemum76 I just wondered what you decided? It's something I am considering myself. Although I am a bit younger at 41 I have had three miscarriages (and I suspect some chemical pregnancies) and an endometriosis diagnosis. My most recent pregnancy was over a year ago so we've made an appointment with an ivf clinic to discuss our options

Hi @NotMyDayJob,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I'm currently in the mindset of not proceeding with donor eggs. I feel that it should be something that I definitely want to do. However, if my feelings to do this become stronger than I'll proceed. I think if I didn't already have a child than I would definitely go for the donor option but I feel blessed with one and I didn't have the best recovery. I hope you have some success soon.

Thank you for taking the to reply, I really appreciate it. It's a lot to think about but I do have some time to make any decision. Best of luck with whatever you end up doing

@NotMyDayJob best of luck to you as well.