Would you be put off by a sperm donor who smokes?

[bigbluesea]

He's everything I want personality wise but he says he's been smoking a pack a day for the past 6 months. Obviously smoking affects sperm quality but he does have proven pregnancies...

I wouldn't think twice...well I would, and then I'd make myself be realistic about the chances of finding another donor who is just as good but doesn't smoke, and who is available at the time when I want him ie now...if you have lots of potential donors lined up and can choose one who doesn't smoke, then do that. But if not...

We had similar issues with egg donation, and were told in no uncertain terms by the clinic that was helping us, not to put unrealistic restrictions on our expectations, but to keep focussed on the prize.

There is another donor who I quite like but not as much. He's with another sperm bank which doesn't tell you if he drinks or smokes but I'm assuming he doesn't as it sounds like he does a lot of sport.

So hard to decide!

That wasn't meant to sound sharp at all btw, I really understand your dilemma...but in the grand scheme of things it really isn't a big deal, especially if his sperm has already been proved effective!

Also remember that unlike our eggs, sperm is made constantly, so it might be worth asking if he could cut down on the fags a bit before/during the time he is making the donations...as from memory it's fairly easy to improve sperm quality fairly quickly...

best of luck!

Don't worry, you didn't sound sharp at all! Well, he's with a sperm bank so I guess he was smoking when he made the donation.

Thank you!

As they're with different agencies, presumably there is nothing to stop you trying with sperm from Chap 1, and then if it doesn't work out you can go back to Chap 2?

Nothing at all apart from my bank balance :D Sperm is so so expensive.

I definitely would avoid smokers sperm. I’ve read that smoking can cause problems for offspring and even grandchildren of smokers because it causes problems at the genetic level. It wouldn’t just be about falling pregnant.

Just did a quick Google and quite a few articles come up, like this one: circle.berkeley.edu/2017/09/13/is-cigarette-smoking-still-a-burning-problem-in-the-united-states/

When I was looking, I wanted a donor who I’d be happy to meet my child in the future and who was similar to the sort of chap I’d date.

I won’t date a smoker (was once married to one 🤮) so I wouldn’t have sperm from one, either.

Oh God, that article is terrifying especially this sentence - 'prenatal smoking by either parent can spur what is called a genetic deletion in their children, causing a chunk of DNA to go missing from the child’s genetic code.'

@LividLoving funny you should say that as I definitely wouldn't date a smoker either (the thought of kissing one, ew). A pack a day is so much as well!

And that’s what he admits to...

Did you find choosing a donor hard @LividLoving? I've agonised over this for months - I feel like my brain is in knots. And were you successful?

I definitely wouldn't choose to use a smokers sperm. Smoking can cause genetic damage to DNA so it isn't just the short term effects of a lower sperm count its the potential future genetic conditions that might pop up and always make you question whether it was down to the smoking.

@bigbluesea it is a bit terrifying! My own mum was a smoker before I was born so that’s not really ideal. But I reckon since you have the choice then avoid it!

I have friends who have just successfully had babies through a sperm and egg donor (separately, respectively) and I know both agonised over their choices but ultimately I think they both looked at health first and foremost.

Long story, had three donor mcs and eventually, much to my shock, had a natural pregnancy that stuck.

My clinic at the time only offered you a couple of profiles at once from their own bank; I found that much easier as less choice. The third one they showed me resonated with me (similar interests) so I chose him.

Yes, definitely going cold on this one @Peasbewithyou. It's just so hard to find everything you want in a donor! And he sounded really kind. But yes, potential baby's health first and foremost.

That's amazing @LividLoving. Very happy for you! I have similar interests with this donor but I think I'll have to consider my second choice instead.

I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Apart from anything else I wouldn't want the increased risk of my child being prone to addiction.

That sounds like a good decision for you @bigbluesea - as you have the choice then go with the second one. We didn't have a choice re donor eggs, hence the clinic's comment...

but if there's a toss-up between a future baby's health and its interests, then health wins every time!

Both my parents smoked when my brother and I were conceived, it was the 80s. Neither of us has any health problems (I'm 40 this year, he's 36) and we don't have any addictions. Our crappy childhood/parenting had far more of an impact than the smoking did x

@Peach1886 I can imagine there's a lot less choice when it comes to egg donors, so you definitely made the right one. There's hardly any sperm donors too thanks to the pandemic.

The full effects are unknown but smoking can definitely cause DNA damage.

we definitely did @bigbluesea - the result of it is currently driving me crazy with home-schooling and bouncing round the house like a crazed animal ...and I couldn't be happier...

It would be a no from me.

It would depend on if I was desperate for a child or not.