Having children
I'm 38 years old and in a struggling marriage but I really want to have children. My husband and I have been together for nearly 11 years, married for 2 but he's always had problems committing to the relationship.
I had to give him an ultimatum after 8 years of dating that he either commits to marrying me or I walk away. He reluctantly agreed to marry me but has dragged his feet every since.
Our marriage had not been easy, we've been the victims of 2 burglaries and have had more bad days than good. We are at the stage where he tells me it's me not him, he's sick of my "moods" and that he can no longer be with me anymore. If I'm honest, it's not even him that I want but a family and security.
I don't even like him half the time but I really want a family and I'm scared that if I don't have children soon, I may never get the chance of becoming a mother. It breaks my heart and fills me with deep sadness.
He tells me I should be happy but how can I be happy when I have to live with the most unusual circumstances. He has taken so much from me but given nothing in return. We didn't even get married officially because he wasn't happy to do so. He refuses to wear a ring, sleep with me or act like he's my husband. I feel he's made a complete mockery of my life and it causes me pain and hurt then anger and resentment towards him.
How will I ever get over this and learn to just be happy?
Should I forget my dream of being a mum?