Ttc through a sperm donor

[ANNON233]

Hi not really had much luck on other webchat pages.
Has anyone conceived through a donor can use tell me what it was like?

I've been messed around quite a few times but found a genuine donor that is helping me this month just getting nervous by the days go by leading up to it now.
How many trys did it take till you fallen pregnant? I'm going to use the ai method so I know it will probably take a while.

@Newchapter2020 I will message you if its okay

@Newchapter2020 I have messaged you about it and when am getting my donation x

@Newchapter2020 I also joined donor conception network and I met my donor on Pride Angel! My baby is 5 months old now. So you're not the only one who didn’t go the clinic route. I think i'm the only one with a known donor in one of the group chats I was added to but there's also a group chat specifically for people with known donors! If you're a DCN member you probably got an email about it recently?

@ANNON233 I got pretty lucky I think, exchanged messages with 3 or 4 guys on Pride Angel before choosing my donor. We emailed a few times then met up in a pub one evening after work (I brought a close friend along). We had a nice chat & got tp ask each other some questions. Then a couple of months later we met again in a hotel room to do the insemination. I got pregnant first time

@goodnightsugarpop oh wow, thank you, yes it feels like I'm the odd one out on the group chat. I'll try and find the link for it. I've been tracking forb6 months now and the first time I get my donation I end up ovulating 2 days earlier than normal so I ended up getting a donation on the day that I ovulated....I know there's still a chance but I don't feel as confident. My donor is lovely but he's a few hours away so I need to forward plan.

Hi, I don't mean to derail the thread, but I have some questions about private sperm donors if that's ok?...

My wife and I always assumed we would go through a clinic, mostly for safety and legal reasons, but we have, over the past few months, realised that it just feels too strange never having met the biological father of our future DC, so are now considering the possibility of using a private donor.

We don't want the donor to have any involvement in the DC upbringing, but it would just be great to have peace of mind that through our own personal judgement, our donor is a good guy and someone we would be happy for our DC to reach out to in the future, should they wish.

Anyway, been chatting to a guy on Pride Angel who seems really nice and ticks a lot of boxes, but I just can't get out my head the simple question "why are they doing this?"

We're sort of on pause right now. Maybe we'll feel differently once we actually meet him, but at the moment, we still feel a bit anxious about the whole process.

What about STDs etc? Is there any way of proving this? Also, how would you feel if your donor already had several donor DC? I mean, I get this will likely be the case for most, but still, would you want your future DC to be able to reach out to their 'diblings'?

As I say, I don't want to derail, but it would be great to hear from those who have gone or are going down this route.

TIA

@LipstickHoarder I really identify with a lot of what you've written. I also got really hung up on "but why does he want to do this?" Meeting my donor in person and talking with him about this did help a bit, though the question was still in my mind afterwards as well. Then one evening I was just on my way home from work & suddenly the thought hit me - well why do I want to have a child??? I could give a few fairly logical reasons (love babies, enjoy the company of kids, come from a big family & always assumed I'd have kids of my own, worried I'd regret it if I didn't) but they wouldn't be the whole story. There was a whole other level (biological? Hormonal? Who knows) which I couldn't really put into words. & then I started thinking well maybe thats true for sperm donors as well - it's a combination of factors that they can express, and an impossible to explain desire or need. I wonder if a lot of men who choose to do this just have a strong unconscious urge to spread their seed, lol. It's how the human race survives after all... As well as the more conscious reasons like wanting to help others.

re STDs, a donor can get a check up soon before insemination and get his results in a letter or text message which he can share with you. Obviously that's not a 100% guarantee, but it shows he's responsible and lowers the risk. I was happy with this.

about donor siblings - I would love to meet my son's donor sibs one day. My donor has decided to help create up to 10 families (same limit as clinics set) so I'm guessing there will be around 20 kids? Assuming all his recipients have 1-3. Obviously with private arrangement donation there isn't an official route for meeting siblings. I wouldn't be surprised if we meet most of them by the time my son is a young adult though.

Hi all, I’m just starting my journey finding a donor and am going down the online route rather than clinic. I have lots of questions, many of which this conversation has answered so thank you!
Do people tend to meet the donor at home or in a hotel? Which websites have been good and any to avoid?!

I’ve been researching and planning for this for years but now the time has come to actually do it, it all feels a bit daunting!!