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Donor conception

Starting TTC during Covid

21 replies

foodbabytobabybaby · 11/05/2020 17:32

Hi everyone, I'm brand new to mumsnet at the very start of my journey TTC (I am 28, my wife and I plan on IUI using donor sperm for the 1st, and hopefully reciprocal IVF for the 2nd). We had originally planned on waiting until 2021 to start trying for a baby, but the circumstances around Covid mean that I am in an usually good position to start the process (stable job which is low-stress at the moment, low outgoing costs, lot's of time off and wife WFH) so we are planning an initial consultation with London Women's Clinic and hopefully from there we will both have fertility MOTs to make sure everything's okay.

Is it crazy to start such a huge process when the future is so unclear? I'm expecting a couple of months before anything 'real' can happen whilst we decide on the best path for us, but it's exciting to think I could be preggo by the end of the year! Has anyone else recently made the decision to start the journey?

OP posts:
Sunbird24 · 13/05/2020 12:19

I’m 42 and single, but decided that it’s not worth carrying on waiting for the right man to come along, especially now! Got my first video consultation With a clinic near me next week to talk about IVF with donor sperm. Exciting but also terrifying!

BadgerHonour · 13/05/2020 22:30

I have too. I’m single (widowed) and will be 35 at the end of the month. I’ve got a clinic quite local and have asked for an appointment as soon as they allow it.

I initially thought IUI with donor sperm, but if they think it’s best I’d be happy to go straight to IVF.

Financially I’m ok. I work in a low stress/paid admin job in local government but get quite good pensions because of my late husband.

I’ve seen a few threads where people have said they’re going to stop TTC, but like you feel comfortable enough to go ahead.

Siablue · 15/05/2020 07:47

foodbaby it sounds like you have thought a lot about this and are in a good position. Hopefully this will all be over by the time the babies are born.

Sunbird I am pleased that you have decided to go for it. Badger I’m the same age as you do it would be interesting to see if the suggest IUI or IVF. I am also single. I have a 2 year old and I really want another child but not another relationship. I do worry that that is an offer position compared to other people. I am not sure if I would have been brave enough to go it alone for a first baby but now I have one I know I can cope.

I am not going to start trying just yet. Not because of COVID but because I want to wait til my little one is bigger. But this situation has remade me think about what I want out of life.

Sunbird24 · 15/05/2020 21:51

Has anyone read ‘It Starts With The Egg’? My best friend swears following all the advice in there helped her conceive naturally in the month before they were due to start IVF, after trying for 2 yrs and at least one MC... I guess it can’t hurt!

Leala20 · 16/05/2020 13:48

I read it over Xmas and it gave me some hope focusing on quality and not quantity. I heard it takes about 3 months for the supplements to kick in. I am going through egg donation hopefully summertime but if I do fall pregnant before it must be down to these supplements. My chances were deemed so low due to low amh for my age that my doctor said they didn’t think this would make difference but things happen so even though I am looking forward to egg donation process we are still trying in between

Sunbird24 · 16/05/2020 16:04

@Leala20 I’m ordering my ubiquinol today! My friend’s doctor was trying to push her towards donor eggs due to her hormone levels etc, but she followed all the advice to the letter and now has a beautiful healthy little boy. Best of luck to you!

Leala20 · 16/05/2020 18:01

Thank you @Sunbird24 and good luck to you too!

AlltheLemurs · 17/05/2020 10:49

I’m not going to be trying just yet but I am finding out more. @Sunbird24 that sounds like a good book.

How do you decide on a clinic? I heard there are some places where you can see a childhood photo of the donor.

Sunbird24 · 17/05/2020 12:15

Have a look at the Donor Conception Network website - someone else told me about it yesterday and it’s so helpful

AlltheLemurs · 19/05/2020 10:20

Thank you. I have been having a look. I like the idea of going to one of their workshops for solo mums. They are going to do some online ones but they are still quite expensive. I wouldn’t mind paying for face to face because you get to meet other people but you wouldn’t get the same interaction in a online setting.

foodbabytobabybaby · 27/05/2020 16:58

It's exciting to read about everyone's plans! I have scheduled my fertility MOT which involves a blood test and ultrasound followed up with a consultation in July when the clinic reopens. We are planning our first cycle of IUI with donor sperm in October, and I plan to spend the 3 months in between getting my body ready with a good diet, exercise, acupuncture and vitamins. I figure if I'm forking out on the IUI I should try and give my body the best chance (although of course, that is not always the reason why it doesn't work). I've started reading What to Expect Before You're Expecting which has been helpful, as well as giving me an outlet for excitement!

@Sunbird24 how did your consultation go?

OP posts:
Sunbird24 · 27/05/2020 18:00

@foodbaby how exciting! I might try that book too if you recommend it.
Did the AMH blood test yesterday - after making an appointment last week for me to come into the clinic for it they called back to ask if they could send me a kit to do it at home instead, but BH obviously slowed up the post. I had to stab myself in the finger with a lancet (thought it would be just a pinprick but it was more like a tiny 3mm blade) and squeeze 10 drops of blood into a little tube. That’s gone off in the post now so just waiting for results. Consultation with the psych today was good, she talked me through the whole process and asked some questions about me and how I felt about everything, what my plans were with work etc, what my support network is like. Nothing unexpected, and she could tell I’ve done my research. She now sends me her report, I sign it and send it back so that the clinic can approve me for treatment. Next step should be ultrasound for follicle count I think.

foodbabytobabybaby · 28/05/2020 09:05

@Sunbird24 I’m finding the book useful, if a little patronising, but it’s nice to feel like there’s something you have power over in such an uncertain process. I like that they keep the ‘dad tips’ separate so it’s inclusive for same sex couples and solo parents.

Great to hear your consultation went well, was anything a surprise or were all the questions and answers as expected?

OP posts:
Sunbird24 · 28/05/2020 10:44

I can’t think of anything that was particularly surprising. She did ask how I felt about having a baby that was 50% genetically not mine, which I think was badly worded, as any baby I had would be! Think she meant more that 50% of its genetic history was from someone I don’t know, but I have no dramas with that. She went through the legal a bit too. The donor signs a waiver to any parental rights to future children when donating, and you sign to accept full parental responsibility. A bit about openness as well, they encourage you to make sure the child has always known how they came about, as it’s better for them.

Sunbird24 · 02/06/2020 18:49

Had a voicemail from the clinic today, the doc said my blood test results are ‘fairly normal’ whatever that means! I’ve to call them in the morning to discuss next steps. Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Leala20 · 02/06/2020 23:31

Hello, I had a rollercoaster of a week first finding out my rest was positive and being excited beyond belief as previously had been told I had 1-5% chances naturally. Then unfortunately it looks like it’s chemical. Focused on new chapter and I am supposed to have a transfer in August. I have been reading 3 makes a baby but will order what to expect as well.

Sunbird24 · 03/06/2020 11:57

@Leala20, sorry to hear that, how disappointing after getting a positive! Hope you’re ok

jam43 · 19/12/2020 21:39

@Sunbird24 just wondering how things are going for you now? I am in the same position as yourself, (well im 43 now) and this will be my first attempt. Im doing it alone using a donor. My sperm was purchased months ago..I have been waiting since january and keep getting postponed due to covid..are you having any better luck?

Sunbird24 · 19/12/2020 23:10

Hi @jam43!
I got 8 fertilised 5-day embryos out of my first ivf cycle in October, so they put one in fresh which resulted in a BFP, but because this is 2020 when I went for my first scan there was just an empty sac. We’re going to try again in Jan/Feb with a couple of the frozen ones and see what happens, I’ll be 43 by then too.
I’m with my nearest CARE Fertility clinic, they’ve been really good. So sorry you’ve been postponed, that’s really not helpful at our age! We are only Tier 2 where I am, don’t know if that’s the difference?

jam43 · 20/12/2020 00:15

@sunbird I wish you all the best for Jan/Feb! Im sorry your last try must have been so disappointing! Such a rollercoaster isnt it! Great you have some already frozen to try again with. Fingers crossed for you! I am due to start treatment in the new year..egg recovery is scheduled for the end of the jan, but I have been cancelled twice already as my treatment is in a different region from me and we were in different teir levels so they wouldnt treat me..Very disappointing, but fingers crossed for third time lucky! Xx

Sunbird24 · 20/12/2020 02:41

@jam43 very best of luck for your egg collection! The last song that played on the radio before I went in for mine was ‘Sisters are doing it for themselves’! Grin
Hopefully 2021 will be kind to us both xx

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