Wwyd - advise on egg donor needed

[Spongebob79]

Hi all,

I need some help. Quick background - long long time ttc over 10 years now, tried natural ttc and OE ivf, had some success but have had 5 miscarriages, no live births.

So last year we moved on to using donor eggs knowing we were coming close to calling it a day and being thankful for other things in our lives. Donor match last March, wasn’t exact match, donor was much taller than me but we went with it. Amazing 20 eggs collected, we got 10, 5 fertilised normally (disappointed at drop off rate) 2 made it to day 5 but not great blasts, bfn.

Me and DH have decided to give 1 final go, this is it our final ever chance at becoming parents. I turn 41 next month. So September back on list and yesterday we get a call, they found a match, great!

Everything with that match this time is great, same eye, hair colour, height similar, her amh is amazing however, I I hope I don’t cause offence here, this is purely for our very best chance of success. Her bmi is high, at the very top end of what that clinic accept, being 34. I’m not bothered about this in the slightest for the genes of any possible child but I have now read that there is some evidence that a high bmi can cause poor egg quality. Everything else about this person is perfect, but it being our last go should I be worried about a high bmi?

So asking for advice really, what would you do? If I decline we go back on list for another 3/4 months and that match may be no better or even worse? Anyone had a similar experience and wish to give their thoughts?

I think give it a go. You might turn her down, get a lower BMI donor and not be successful. The higher BMI donor might be successful, and it matches everything else.

Good luck OP!

what does the clinic recommend? Do they think the BMI is an issue?

Also, to maximise your chances of success, have you considered immune issue for you that might impact implantation?

@squee123 thank you for your reply. Immune wise my clinic have always given me steroids, blood thinner etc just in case. Ive been with my clinic a few years now and I do trust them, I suppose they wouldn’t have allowed the donor onto the egg share programme unless they were happy with everything. I will call them to discuss though. Just wondered what others might do I my situation. How long do you hold out for that perfect match that may never come along.

@AlexanderHalexander thank you, I think I’m edging towards saying yes

BMI was originally intended as a way of tracking broad & generalised social trends in people's weight - it's a really unreliable way of judging whether a person is healthy or not. Lots of extremely healthy athletes have BMI numbers in the "obese" category due to muscle being heavier than fat. Lots of people with higher BMI numbers who are fat are also perfectly healthy in terms of things like cardiovascular health or fertility. Egg donor clinics tend to be picky and I'm sure they wouldn't have accepted her as a donor if they thought her BMI was a risk factor.

My BMI was 32.5 when I got pregnant back in July on my very first attempt, and I've had a really straightforward and uncomplicated pregnancy so far (currently 28 weeks) so it's definitely possible for fat women to have perfectly functional eggs...

@goodnightsugarpop please don’t think in anyway that I have insinuated that overweight people cannot fall pregnant and have healthy pregnancies, that’s not what this post was about at all. In fact having now spoken to my clinic and talked it though we have decided to go with this donor.

good luck!

I have been matched with 3 donors and I would happily take a donor with that BMI

I would be more worried about the fact that you have miscarried so many times and get to the bottom of that before any more cycles. I would definitely have some specialist sperm testing including DNA fragmentation as sperm may be the issue given poor results? Sorry is you have already done this but I had 6 miscarriages (3 own eggs, 3 double donation) before treating my issues which resulted in live birth at 46! Tests include Karyotyping for your DH which eliminates genetic issues, Thyroid testing for you, clotting tests, autoimmune issues, infection, uterine issues etc. One company my friend's husband used for sperm testing and huge sperm improvement is this one... examenlab.com/about-us/