Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

I want a baby...

14 replies

2468wdwa · 28/12/2019 15:31

Hi. I'm a single woman approaching my 40's & am longing for a baby. I've not had a successful relationship for a few years so am considering going down the sperm donor route. I just don't know where to start. Can anyone help? I'd really appreciate all the advice offered. Thank you.

OP posts:
Cuddling57 · 28/12/2019 15:47

Go for it!
Contact local fertility clinics as a start.
Maybe some Facebook groups?
Good luck!

2468wdwa · 28/12/2019 17:53

Thank you! 😃
I've tried looking on Facebook groups but a lot of them are where you can find donors. I don't want this as I'd prefer a clinic where the donor has been screened etc. Hoping for some first hand experience from some fellow mn'ers 🤞🏻🤞🏻

OP posts:
Amethyst2 · 28/12/2019 20:55

I’m in a similar position, mid 30s, not found the right man, but I can’t imagine not having a child. I chose my clinic as it’s close to where I work so I’ve been able to pop out for scans etc. Been a long process, but had some health issues this year and needed to lose some weight. Finally had my first IUI 10 days ago. I chose my donor from cryos. Look for the stork and I, lots of ladies going through the same process.

2468wdwa · 28/12/2019 21:22

Good luck with yours 🤞🏻🤞🏻. How long roughly is the process from start to iui? Also, how much does each round cost? If you don't mind me asking (msg if you'd prefer). We have a few clinics locally so I guess I should have a look around a few. I'll have a look now. Thank you x

OP posts:
ThisIsFine · 28/12/2019 21:46

I'm wondering how you go about finding a donor? There must be so many websites full of so many donors!

2468wdwa · 28/12/2019 21:50

It's an absolute minefield! I've heard that buying the donor sperm outside of the uk is cheaper.

OP posts:
Amethyst2 · 28/12/2019 22:29

Thanks. Having so many symptoms not sure what’s going on!
I had my first appointment at Easter, but I was poorly for 8 weeks after so that delayed organising tests, and then had to wait for an operation which also delayed things. aShould be much quicker! Tests/appointments came to about 1500, each iui is costing about 1400 (including sperm), other people seem to be cheaper though??

Mines from Europe. I got a bit overwhelmed when I first logged on as there was so much information, but decided what I was looking for which narrowed it down, and a donor nurse chose the one she felt was most suitable for me (looks wise I guess). Look at European sperm bank and Cryos international. You can register and take a look. I think different clinics use different banks.

K10f1 · 29/12/2019 15:50

Hi
So I’m currently waiting for my period so I can have my first go at medicated iui. I’ve paid for three cycles upfront and will move to ivf if unsuccessful after this. For me getting this far has been a long process. I had endometrial polyps and ovarian cysts so had to first have biopsy’s and then surgery. This could be done via the nhs (as it needed doing even if didn’t want to get pregnant) but obviously then I had to sit on a wait list which held me up. And then after the surgery there were more problems resulting in a cancelled cycle before Christmas. My initial clinic appointment was in 2018, I then found out about the need for surgery, and then my first appointment with the clinic I'm proceeding with was August 2019. My surgery was September 2019, so I’d probably fairer to consider it 3 month wait as I couldn’t attempt anything until after the surgery.

My advice is start by going to your gp, you won’t qualify for nhs treatment (I have known fertility problems that would qualify me for treatment if I weren’t single, the single thing seems to be a big issue however) but you may find they will do basic fertility blood tests, which would save you money. Then take the results with you to your private clinic. They might not, but if you don’t ask you don’t get, my gp was lovely and willing to help in any small way she could. Some clinics offer free mini consultations, some don’t. Google is your friend here - search clinics in your area. I met with 2, the one I chose was recommended to me by a friend who’d had two children with their help. She’s a midwife so I took her advice to heart. Either way do some research and choose the one you feel comfortable with.
My clinic has been able to provide me with a donor, it ended up being cheaper that way than getting from one of the larger sperm banks and I actually struggled with the overwhelming amount of information I could have about a donor going through the larger banks. The hand written notes were a big issue for me. If I didn’t like what they wrote they were immediately off the list. And if I’m honest I rarely liked what they wrote. My donor was a good physical match for me and healthy, so I was happy to proceed with him. Your clinic will likely tell you what banks they are able to work with if you don’t want sperm via them or they can’t provide it. I remember the first clinic I went to gave me a leaflet outline where you could source sperm from and what to look for when buying it.

In terms of cost, my clinic do a 3 cycle iui package for £1450 so I paid for that, iui rarely works first time and even if it did it’s not an amount of money I will regret parting with if it gets me pregnant. My medications were between £3-400, I forget the exact number. Sperm cost £495.

Good luck x

4amWitchingHour · 29/12/2019 16:08

Please please please go through proper clinics and get a donor who is willing to be identified. As a donor conceived adult, I have no idea who my genetic father is and absolutely hate it. Don't do that to your child. Nothing to do with my relationship with my dad, which is great.

Take a look at the HFEA website for guidance.

ThisIsFine · 29/12/2019 18:08

@4amWitchingHour do you look like your mum?

2468wdwa · 29/12/2019 18:14

Thanks ladies. I really hope all goes well for you.
I considered asking my GP for blood tests but wasn't sure if that was cheeky & the clinics seem to offer a fertility mot so assumed everything would be done there. I've read a lot about people going straight for ivf instead of iui & also having to have ivf because of failed iui attempts - what would you recommend?

As far as I'm aware I don't have any issues. Have had regular periods since the age of 12. Have always seemed normal, not excessively heavy or painful etc. I guess I wouldn't know until I've had the fertility tests though?

I will definitely be going with a non - anonymous donor having researched. I wouldn't want my child not to know their family heritage. I think all uk donors have to legally be non - anonymous now anyway?

I've booked to go to an open day at a clinic in the new year so will get a better understanding then, I hope! But, it's great to hear of others experiences.

Thank you so much! 😃

OP posts:
Amethyst2 · 29/12/2019 19:26

My consultant referred me to the GP for lots of the blood tests so did save a little there. I’m going to have 3 goes at unmedicated iui and if it doesn’t happen I’ll think about ivf I’m not very good with needles though!
You’re right, uk donors now need to be non-anonymous and children can access the details when they are 18.

dreamingdream · 26/03/2020 09:04

@4amWitchingHour I totally agree about using proper clinics which are licensed and safe. I had to even get legal advice from a lawyer to confirm that sperm donors from social websites are not the best way forward; too many risks from a legal and medical perspective.

ManchesterChidless · 04/04/2020 17:40

Same, I’m 35.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.