Pride angel/donor sperm insemination

[Lmas3108]

Hi, first time ever posting on a forum.

Me and my partner (lesbian couple) are desperately wanting to start a family.
We have come across Pride Angel and have read many reviews about the success people have had on there.
Recently a guy reached out and messaged us with his contact details and have been speaking for a few days now, apart from the usual questions such as Why he's doing this, has he done it before etc I'm really struggling on how we are meant to progress .
He has sent over STI check results and has told us he has been successfull with other couples, but we are unsure what else we need to know or do?
This is the first person we have spoken too on there.
Has anyone got any experiences to share? How long were you talking before you met?
Any important stuff to ask?
Where is best meet eachother (we are around 70 miles away)
Do we pay for his expenses?

Please could anyone help or give any advice?
P.s we have made it clear that it won't be natural insemination and that we do not want co-parenting etc and he has confirmed the same.

Thanks in advance
Two worried/nervous but hopeful ladies here 😥

Hi,

My wife and I were in the same boat. We were looking on Pride Angel and Pollen Tree.

We messaged quite a few people who were in roughly in the same local area of us and one got back to us.

We messaged for a short while and then met up in a Sainsbury's cafe - neutral grounds. We got to know each other through questions and decided he was right for us.

Like you we would only accept AI.

We then messaged him when I was in my fertile window and we met in a travel-lodge.

He did his bit in the bathroom and gave us the pot and then left. Had to wait for 20 minutes for the sperm consistency to become right and then out came the syringe....

We met in January and started in February. First two times were unsuccessful. We met twice during the fertile window.

The third time we just went through the motions as I was getting emotionally drained each time It didn't work. We went to the travel lodge, did the business and then we came home again.

This must have helped as we are now 6 weeks pregnant....

Happy to answer any questions you have as we know what it's like.

Good luck with everything.

Just make sure his STD results are within 3 months.
I would also ask how many successful attempts he has had with other couples. There are a lot of sperm donor groups on fb too. I found a sperm donor from Milan on fb and he was lovely but we ended up doing the IVF route in the UK.

In this situation using a private donor I would consider marriage first as this means you are both responsible for the child if your in wedlock.

Can I ask what the pros are for using Pride Angel over purchasing sperm from one of the regulated sperm banks?

(I have a 2 year old DD who I had using donor sperm from the European Sperm bank).

There are so many benefits to using a regulated system to obtain donor sperm.

Do Pride Angel donors screen for active CMV for example? This is vital if you are CMV negative.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I wasn't sure if this thread would ever be looked at lol!

@thismumisnew that's fantastic news congratulations 😁 I bet your over the moon aren't you. Did you find the whole meeting in a hotel thing a bit awkward? How did you test when was best to do the insemination? Was the guy flexible and friendly with you both?
I haven't spoke to our pride angel guy for a week now as I was unsure what to do next, he says he has been successful with five other couples and has even sent me a pic of one of his successes.

@Hermones1 yes this std/hiv check was from January this year but he has said he is happy to get another one before/if we go ahead.
Marriage is something to consider as I have read about me needing to adopt baby if we haven't married first.

@INeedNewShoes congrats on you DD, how lovely.
We are long term looking at doing IUI with sperm donor from a regulated sperm bank, but pride angel is something that has come up as a possibility to us. We haven't got the funds currently to go down the IUI route, so money is a big plus to pride angel. And as for CMV Negative/positive, you wouldn't know this if you were having one night stands (sorry to put it like that) and then got pregnant sort of thing.
I guess it's a safer method to use a sperm bank, but again, it is thousands .

Ultimately we will have to pay for IUI but this is definitely something for us to consider first.

@Lmas3108 it was weird to start with but we all knew the reason we we were there... we put the telly on (quite loud) and just let him do his business.

We messaged him a couple of weeks before my fertile window and said some dates and where and luckily he was able to meet on those days. It was after work for us all, so worked well.

We are over the moon and cannot wait till the first scan. Even though we know he (yes we are hoping for a boy) is in there we cannot wait to see him.

It is easier to see if there is someone closer.

Ours has children of his own and has also another couple he had conceived through AI with his help.

As we are married the baby is ours, he has no responsibly or parental rights. We just said we would let him know how things go and send the odd picture every now and then.

I hope you find someone who works for you.

@thesemummysarenew oh wow I'm sooooo buzzing for your amazing news,
How lovely! I always think to myself what is in it for these men who donate and use their spare time on meeting/doing the deed etc. It's kind of impossible to think there are good people out there until I hear from someone like yourself with positive things too say.
Yes we would absolutely love a little boy we have always wanted a boy but obviously either would be unreal for us both 😍
So you recommend leaving the goods in the pot for a while before slurping (lol good word) it up into the syringe?

Any other advice for us newbies xx

@Lmas3108 we are truly thankful for those kinds of people too.

Just be careful because there are people out there who are just in it for a fumble in the bedsheets.... make sure on the profile they say AI only and confirm when you talk to them that that is how it will work.

Whoever is conceiving needs to be on folic acid. I started beginning of January and am still on them now.

Yes the consistency of the little swimmers in the pot need to be right before you gently suck them up and help them on their way to do a very important job.

This bit is not romantic at all.... we tried to make it so, but it really isn't!!!!

Once inserted hips up for a good 20 minutes to help them swim in the right direction.

@thesemummysarenew yes I think it would be hard to make it romantic 😂 apparently it helps if you do the big O too!
It's hard to trust what they are saying to you but I guess if we meet him for a coffee etc we will get our own opinions of him face to face, and then go from there.

Oooo, ok, What is folic acid for?
Another issue for us is my partner has PCOS so has irregular periods (she actually hasn't had one for around 10 months) so I think we need see the GP first to see if there's anything we can get to start the periods again.
She went on the injection for around a year/18months to stop the periods as they were non stop, but since she's stopped the injection (to ttc) she has only had one period. 🙄

Would you recommend meeting in a hotel ? Was meeting at your house ever discussed/considered?

Thanks again for your replies xx

@Lmas3108 yes we tried that this time round too, but only because at the time it felt natural....

We felt meeting at a coffee shop was just neutral ground.

We didn't even think about meeting at home... again this is our space and we didn't want a random man in it.... if that makes sense.

The folic acid is to support development. It prevents miscarriages and neutral tube defects.

I have PCOS and was told when I was 18 that It was 1% chance I would get pregnant. My wife has had a hysterectomy, so we thought hey ho we might as well try. We have nothing to loose.

Luckily my periods had been regular. My monthly cycle ranged between 29 and 35 days, so we tracked on an app for it to work out my fertile windows.

I would def go and talk to your doctor. They can run tests and take bloods to see levels of fertility. They can also do external and internal ultra scans to see what is going on.

Please keep us posted. Xx