Pregnant from donor sperm - telling midwife

[Frank77]

Hi all,

I’m single and currently almost 7 weeks pregnant following ivf with donor sperm. Im pretty excited and terrified in equal measure!

I’m due to have my first midwife appointment on Monday and was wondering how much I need to tell her.

I’m not ashamed but I do work in the health care trust that I will be a patient in & wouldn’t necessarily want everyone knowing if that makes sense?

Thanks

They do ask question about father etc, especially in first appointment as it's a gage of whether you have social support. So difficult as of course you can tell her in confidence but if people you'd rather not know have access to your files, then they may see I suppose .

You don't need to tell her anything about how you conceived.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Very exciting.

I had a baby last year conceived by donor IUI. I told the Midwife as I am in a same sex relationship and my wife was at all appointments. Midwife wasn't a bit phased by it. She couldn't have done more for us. And remember the Midwife will be bound by confidentially. It's ultimately your choice what you disclose. Lots of luck!!

If asked, can you just say the father does not live with you, and leave it at that? There are so many different family structures these days I'd be surprised if they asked you directly about a father - rather than more generally about a support network.

(I know what it's like to work in a workplace where news travels, even when it shouldn't!)

Congratulations. I am a single mum to a donor sperm baby born two weeks ago. I'd recommend telling your midwife as there are some tests/screening done based on the parents background. But make it clear to her that the conception is between the two of you. My midwife was very supportive and no one else found out unless I told them. Good luck with your pregnancy x