Tell me about your counselling appointments please!

[TinyPaws]

My GF and I have our counselling appointment coming up and I'm really not sure what to expect!

If you've had one, what was it like? How long did it last, and what did they ask/discuss?

I'm worried that at the end of it they are going to decline treatment, but I've never actually heard of this happening, am I just being paranoid?

You're being paranoid! Really don't worry, it'll be fine.

I've never felt especially in need of counselling - I basically just went because I had to - so I essentially just had a nice chat with the counsellor. But, it's really an opportunity to explore any worries you may have, and think through some possibilities for the future, so please don't be afraid to talk about whatever's on your mind.

Hope it goes well!

I think counselling can be very very useful for some people and for others it feels more of a tick box exercise and nice chat. However it is still useful for those in the ‘nice chat‘ category to have met with a counsellor prior to treatment and then to have them as a ‘safety net’ for further support and/or information if it is ever required. Fertility treatment can be one of the most intense and stressful experiences a person can embark upon... let alone one that involves coming to terms with donor conception, choosing between anonymous or identifiable donation, known donation, treatment in the UK or abroad, fertility legislation, etc.

Treatment may be declined if there are serious concerns around either partner (if for example one partner is very reluctant to proceed with treatment but was being coerced in some way) otherwise if there were concerns around the future welfare of a child conceived via treatment (alcoholism, domestic violence, etc). However more generally the counselling aims to offer support and information for both partners enabling them to make an informed decision together on how to move forward, ie. telling or not telling the child and/or other people, implications around having treatment abroad versus UK, hopes and fears for the future.

They would have to have serious concerns that either pregnancy is not compatible with a major health condition or that there is a serious problem with one of you that would mean you're not able to bring up a child.

Unless you've got serious health problems or some sort of criminal background you'll be fine!