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Donor conception

Had anyone donated eggs?

14 replies

mishfish · 21/10/2017 13:51

It’s something there been at the back of my mind.

I’m done with creating my family. I have 3 children now.

Has anyone donated eggs before? I think my only concern (and it’s a far fetched one) is anything happening to their eventual birth parents and ending up in the state care system as they might not have any extended family. Are there safeguards in place for these sort of situations? I know it probably sounds a ridiculous and unlikely concern but I wouldn’t be able to bare the thought of it

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wetpumpkins · 21/10/2017 13:53

No, not usually. But the point is, you're not becoming a parent, you're helping someone else become one.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 21/10/2017 13:56

I did 20 years ago. Well it was an egg sharing ivf cycle - I got my ivf for free if I donated eggs. My ivf was successful

mishfish · 21/10/2017 13:59

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 so glad to read your IVF was successful!

I think I’m struggling to mentally separate myself from it, my youngest is 11 months so may be it’s because I’m still right in the baby stage.

I’d love to donate eggs one day to help another couple become parents.

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wetpumpkins · 21/10/2017 14:02

Said gently, it might be a couple,a single woman, an older woman who dies before the child turns one. You just don't know and you can't know, as it's not yours Flowers

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 21/10/2017 14:40

How old are you? Over 32ish and no-one will accept you anyway I don't think.

mishfish · 21/10/2017 14:45

@wetpumpkins it makes me really sad that they could possibly in that situation (as any child can be). It’s something I’d need to get past emotionally before anyway

I’m 28!

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Rogue1234 · 21/10/2017 14:56

I've donated mine, in exactly the same way that smug did.

I mean this in the gentlest possible way but I don't think you're ready at the moment to donate your eggs. You have to remember any child created will not be your child. You're giving another couple one of the ingredients they need to make their own child.

Bad things can happen in anyones life unfortunately, and it's likely you would never even know if something did happen to the child or the parents.

I am also not sure about the ethics of screening out potential recipients because they don't have family / community support!

mishfish · 21/10/2017 15:13

@Rogue1234 you are of course right. I hope it’s something I can get over in the near future

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Heatherjune · 21/10/2017 21:27

I wanted to reply to this message. I am 33 and have been through 4 IVF's and one frozen and haven't had any success due to endometriosis and premature ovarian failure. I don't know which country you are from but in the UK there are so few donors that our hospital links with a Majorcan clinic where there is higher availability of donor eggs.

We have just been given a donor and will have a transfer in a few weeks. I am so unbelievably grateful that a woman has made this decision and might make it possible for us to have children. But I have nerves on the opposite side of yours - I worry that this woman has done it for the 750 euros she gets for compensation - perhaps she is in desperate need of the money - and not because she feels she wants to. I hope she has made the decision because she wants to help another person and has thought through all of the psychological consequences of doing so.

I would say from the 'other side' that you shouldn't worry about a future child conceived using your eggs ending up in the state system. People who use donors have normally been through a huge amount of effort to have a child - they WANT this child, possibly more than any other person who has them another way. All scientific studies point that children of donors are better cared for and have better psychological well being that children conceived the traditional way. We get free therapy in order to make sure we are ready for the responsibilty and to make sure we have a great support system around us - who can say the same for people who conceive naturally? That's not to mention the (incredibly sad) fact that anyone who can afford donor IVF is probably going to be fortunately enough to be in a position in which they have decent jobs and money etc.
If you do decide to donate your eggs - that single cell that you give them will be the greatest gift that person or couple will ever receive. The child that grows from that egg is not 'your' child, it has developed in a specific way because of the environment that mother has provided for it, and I promise you, after everything that woman will have gone through to get to that point she will love that child more than anything on earth xx

mishfish · 22/10/2017 17:38

Heather thank you so much!

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petmyunicorn · 22/10/2017 17:42

I donated eggs twice to the same family. I know the first cycle was successful, but I'm not sure about the second.

The thing is, someone kind donated spent to us to help me get my beautiful children. We are grateful for him, and it feels lovely that I've also helped someone else get their wonderful child/children.

I occasionally think of that other family and wish them well

petmyunicorn · 22/10/2017 17:43

Argh. Should say donated SPERM!!

mishfish · 22/10/2017 20:01

Thank you!

Does anyone know of any reputable clinics in and near London I could get in touch with for more information?

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SeaWitchly · 30/10/2017 11:44

All scientific studies point that children of donors are better cared for and have better psychological well being that children conceived the traditional way.

Heather, would you happen to have a link to these studies please?
Would be good to read and quite reassuring for potential donors.

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