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Donor conception

How do/did you pick a donor sperm?

6 replies

ImmyWhite · 06/09/2017 14:48

I'm a single, heterosexual woman. Do I go for a donor that I'm attracted to? A donor that has the traits of a 'perfect' human? Not care and pick randomly?

How do you decide on a sperm bank? I like the American and European one, as there's so much info to go by, but is that a bad thing? Should I go for the London sperm bank, where there is just enough info, but not too much? I suppose I'm finding it tough because I am a single woman, so is it better to actually know lots of info, I just don't know?

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bounce2006 · 06/09/2017 21:45

I went for a donor (who I found online through a coparenting website) who I was not attracted to but had a great personality and we got on really well. In terms of his looks it was just important that I didn't find him ugly.

I'm also a single heterosexual. All the best with your journey.

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Toria73 · 09/09/2017 17:40

I'm heterosexual & single too so I went for a donor from the European Sperm Bank. In the end I chose the donor based on their interview questions & the handwritten letter. He sounded like someone I would get on really well with so I figured I'd have a good chance of getting on with his child if ivf worked for me.
As for all the info on the European Sperm Bank I gave up on that as there was way more info than you would get from a random one nighter or early relationship phases.
Go with your gut instinct & you should be fine. Good luck!!

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britchick77 · 10/09/2017 11:31

I was looking at this route for a while (although I'm going with a known donor now). For me the most important thing was personality, as some of the 'big five' personality traits have been shown to be as much as 60% genetic. Intelligence also has a very strong genetic component. Also based on their descriptions whether they seemed like the kind of person who would be open to meeting a child once they turn 18.
Looks came third - I want a child who at least looks as though they could be related to me but I didn't care about things like hair and eye colour.

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britchick77 · 10/09/2017 11:38

To add to the above, some sperm banks show adult photos, which you may like, or may wish to actively avoid. ESB and Xytex have much more choice than British sperm banks and donors have to meet the same criteria.
I say get all the info you can - it's one of the most important decisions you will ever make!

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siftingflour · 01/10/2017 23:35

the single most important factor to bear in mind is whether or not the donor is open id or anonymous - that is, willing to be known at 18 or never willing to be known. (I know that all donors will probably ultimately be traceable using dna banks, but whether they want to be contacted is a different thing, and stating willing to be known is a good indicator.).
also bear in mind that the donors from the us and the scandanavian banks do not have family limits - that is, the sperm banks will stick to the limit within the country to which they export (ten families in the case of the UK) but then they will export to multiple other countries, many of which don't have family limits (most importantly USA, which has a huge market). This means that your offspring could have multiple half siblings - which might make any meaningful future contact with the donor very difficult.

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Derf17 · 16/10/2017 16:29

We chose our doner from Cryos international we narrowed it down by characteristics of my husband such as height and eye colour and then by personality traits of the doner taking into account his medical history as well. We are starting home insemination this month, we are very excited about the prospect of becoming pregnant and growing our family.

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