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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

FDR after long separation when both parties are housed

5 replies

TwoTuesday · 08/07/2026 14:37

My partner and his ex have their FDR soon, after months of delays. They've been apart 12 years, he only filed for divorce 2 years ago. When he left he gave her the marital home and cash to pay off her debts. Their children were at college and uni and he supported them financially until they graduated. She earned more than him until recently and has pensions, though not as much as he has.
He lives with me in a house that we both own with a joint mortgage (deed of trust as I put more in). His ex still lives in the marital home. DP has had to supply property particulars for his ex, get a mortgage capacity report, ex has sent property particulars for him and also got a mortgage capacity report. Why does the court want this info when both are housed? It seems a waste of time and money, the mortgage capability report costs £120 each time and he's had to do 2 so far as the first FDR was postponed.
The particulars she has sent him are for a 2 bed property, when he lives with me and my kids so it wouldn't be suitable anyway.
Am I missing something, surely the court won't make us sell up?
I'm just hoping the FDR won't get delayed again. The PODE report is not going to be ready in time due to a solicitor error so not sure if it will be worth going ahead without it?
He's LIP now as he can't afford to pay any more costs.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 08/07/2026 14:56

It’s not just about function. The actual asset split is considered as well.

it will probably be fine, but buying property with someone who isn’t fully divorced with settled finances does carry risk.

millymollymoomoo · 08/07/2026 16:40

Should never have bought a house together while this is not sorted! It completely weakens his case for assets and brings this house into the equation!

she will be arguing to keep 100% of house as he does not need it as he’s housed with you. She may also be arguing that your house is a marital
asset and up for grabs

TwoTuesday · 08/07/2026 16:48

He has already given her the house and is happy for her to keep all of it. He isn't asking for anything from her at all. He's expecting to give her half his pension, in worst case. Hopefully that will suffice. I'm sure she will try to get some of this house too.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 08/07/2026 17:14

Sounds like he’s a pushover then tbh.

why is he ok to hand her a house and savings and hand his pension ? especially as she earned more than him!!

the court could order a sake on your house. Seems unlikely, but courts have powers to do anything

TwoTuesday · 08/07/2026 17:55

He doesn't want anything from her. He's written off what he's already given her. But he'll have to defend himself as regards this house, his pensions etc as it's not a fair split otherwise. I'm hoping the FDR judge will see it as such.
He's offered her a pension share already to avoid a lengthy/expensive court case but she's not accepted it. There isn't lots of money or a lifestyle gap at all. She's just being difficult.
And getting her legal bills paid by family so no skin off her nose if it takes another £000k

OP posts:
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