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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Can I stop my separated husband coming to the house?

11 replies

Username65776 · 06/07/2026 21:02

My husband and I are currently separated. He moved out almost 2 months ago to live with a family member . I am still in the family home with my daughter from a previous relationship and 2 dogs.
He owns the house but I did a Hr1 form a couple of years ago to prevent him removing me from the property.

We have both seen solicitors and I have filed for divorce

He can be very volatile and I think has mental health problems. He can be fine for weeks then fly into a rage which is what happened at the weekend.

He came round to pick something up which has not been a problem before. But ended up being very verbally abusive and screaming at me.
My daughter tried to intervene and he grabbed her face, injuring her lip. He then left. I have logged the incident with police

I was so shaken up and I dont want him anywhere near me again. I've asked him not to come to the house when im there, to let me know when hes coming so i can be out.

All he keeps saying is that its his house, I can't stop him, he can move back in if he wants etc etc. He doesn't understand the stress this has caused.

I know I can't change the locks, but I really dont know what to do. He even came round today while i was at work to drop something off , he didn't need to. I came home and found it in the house.
I dread to think what would have happened if I was there.

Is there anything I can do to stop him coming to the house he owns??

OP posts:
Smith345 · 06/07/2026 22:11

Username65776 · 06/07/2026 21:02

My husband and I are currently separated. He moved out almost 2 months ago to live with a family member . I am still in the family home with my daughter from a previous relationship and 2 dogs.
He owns the house but I did a Hr1 form a couple of years ago to prevent him removing me from the property.

We have both seen solicitors and I have filed for divorce

He can be very volatile and I think has mental health problems. He can be fine for weeks then fly into a rage which is what happened at the weekend.

He came round to pick something up which has not been a problem before. But ended up being very verbally abusive and screaming at me.
My daughter tried to intervene and he grabbed her face, injuring her lip. He then left. I have logged the incident with police

I was so shaken up and I dont want him anywhere near me again. I've asked him not to come to the house when im there, to let me know when hes coming so i can be out.

All he keeps saying is that its his house, I can't stop him, he can move back in if he wants etc etc. He doesn't understand the stress this has caused.

I know I can't change the locks, but I really dont know what to do. He even came round today while i was at work to drop something off , he didn't need to. I came home and found it in the house.
I dread to think what would have happened if I was there.

Is there anything I can do to stop him coming to the house he owns??

Hi I am sorry to hear that

BrendaSmall · 06/07/2026 22:15

Move out and find your own place, this is going to be the only way he’s not going to be able to access where you live.

Backedoffhackedoff · 06/07/2026 22:18

You’re not going to realistically get a non mol of occupation order before anyone suggests it.

if you are really frightened for your safety, the police would advise you to move out. I know it’s not easy, but being unsafe isn’t either.

ExplodingSmittens · 06/07/2026 22:19

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I would talk to Women’s Aid about getting a non-molestation order.

Have you also got a Solicitor for the financial agreement?

DozyCrow · 06/07/2026 22:21

He may have bought the house but you're married so it has become a marital asset. How long were you together? If it was a short marriage you may not be entitled to much of a share of it. You will have to leave at some point if you divorce as it will need to be sold and the proceeds split. At the moment you can't stop him coming to a house he owns.

Username65776 · 06/07/2026 22:26

DozyCrow · 06/07/2026 22:21

He may have bought the house but you're married so it has become a marital asset. How long were you together? If it was a short marriage you may not be entitled to much of a share of it. You will have to leave at some point if you divorce as it will need to be sold and the proceeds split. At the moment you can't stop him coming to a house he owns.

Married almost 11 years, together 16 years. It has been agreed I will stay in the house as I am carer for my next door neighbour and earn money for this. I know i will have to move at some point but cannot afford to at the moment 😕

OP posts:
Backedoffhackedoff · 06/07/2026 22:34

Username65776 · 06/07/2026 22:26

Married almost 11 years, together 16 years. It has been agreed I will stay in the house as I am carer for my next door neighbour and earn money for this. I know i will have to move at some point but cannot afford to at the moment 😕

You don’t need to be able yo afford to live, you fund it out of your financial settlement. Starts at 50:50 asset split for a long marriage. He’ll gave up give you some money

Smith345 · 06/07/2026 22:37

Username65776 · 06/07/2026 22:26

Married almost 11 years, together 16 years. It has been agreed I will stay in the house as I am carer for my next door neighbour and earn money for this. I know i will have to move at some point but cannot afford to at the moment 😕

I have sent you a private messaged

Zanatdy · 08/07/2026 03:03

Hopefully you can stay until the settlement but you’ll eventually have to move out, unless you can afford to buy him out. Perhaps you need to be out when he needs to collect anything. His behaviour was well out of line.

CalmBalonz · 27/07/2026 22:44

I'm so sorry you and your daughter went through that. What happened to her lip is assault, full stop, and you were right to report it to the police.

On the legal side: your HR1 (Home Rights notice) protects your right to stay in the house, but it doesn't stop him entering it — that's a different order. What you need is either:

A non-molestation order — this can include a condition that he isn't allowed to come to or near the house, contact you, or use/threaten violence. Given what he did to your daughter, this is very achievable, especially with a police log already in place. You can apply for these without your own solicitor doing the whole thing (there's a standard form, FL401), and if there's genuine risk of harm, courts will often grant one "without notice" (i.e., before he even knows about the hearing) as an emergency measure.

An occupation order — this can regulate who lives in or enters the property, and can suspend his right to enter even though he's the legal owner. These are harder to get than non-mols but not impossible, especially where there's violence and a child involved.
Given your daughter was hurt, I'd also flag:

  • The police involvement may trigger a social services safeguarding check as a matter of course when a child is injured — that's normal process, not something to be scared of, and having it documented can actually help your case.
  • Ring your solicitor first thing and tell them exactly what happened this weekend, including the injury to your daughter — this changes the urgency a lot and they may push for an emergency non-molestation order rather than waiting.
  • If you feel unsafe in the meantime, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247, free, 24/7) can talk you through immediate safety planning, even if you're not sure "abuse" is the right word for what's happening.
You're not being unreasonable wanting him to stop turning up. Owning the bricks and mortar doesn't give him the right to frighten you or hurt your daughter. Sending you strength. 💛

Email template to send to your solicitor

thought it might help to have something ready to send straight to your solicitor, so you're not trying to find the words while you're still shaken up. Something like:
Dear [Solicitor's name],
I need to update you urgently on an incident with my husband on [date]. He came to the house to collect an item, which he has done before without issue. This time he became verbally abusive and was screaming at me. My daughter tried to intervene and he grabbed her face, injuring her lip. He then left the property.
I reported this to the police and it has been logged [include crime reference number if you have one].
I have asked him not to come to the house when I'm there and to give notice before attending, but he insists it's his property and he can't be stopped, and has even suggested he could move back in. Today he entered the house again while I was at work, without my knowledge, to drop something off that wasn't needed.
I no longer feel safe with him entering the property unannounced and am concerned about what could happen if this continues, particularly given my daughter's safety. Please can we discuss urgently whether a non-molestation order and/or occupation order can be applied for, and whether the recent incident means this could be done on an emergency basis without notice.
I'm happy to speak by phone at short notice if that's easier.
Kind regards,

[Your name]

Just tweak the details and dates. Having the police crime reference number in there if you have one will help them move quickly. Sending you strength, this isn't on you. 💛

Username65776 · 28/07/2026 18:57

CalmBalonz · 27/07/2026 22:44

I'm so sorry you and your daughter went through that. What happened to her lip is assault, full stop, and you were right to report it to the police.

On the legal side: your HR1 (Home Rights notice) protects your right to stay in the house, but it doesn't stop him entering it — that's a different order. What you need is either:

A non-molestation order — this can include a condition that he isn't allowed to come to or near the house, contact you, or use/threaten violence. Given what he did to your daughter, this is very achievable, especially with a police log already in place. You can apply for these without your own solicitor doing the whole thing (there's a standard form, FL401), and if there's genuine risk of harm, courts will often grant one "without notice" (i.e., before he even knows about the hearing) as an emergency measure.

An occupation order — this can regulate who lives in or enters the property, and can suspend his right to enter even though he's the legal owner. These are harder to get than non-mols but not impossible, especially where there's violence and a child involved.
Given your daughter was hurt, I'd also flag:

  • The police involvement may trigger a social services safeguarding check as a matter of course when a child is injured — that's normal process, not something to be scared of, and having it documented can actually help your case.
  • Ring your solicitor first thing and tell them exactly what happened this weekend, including the injury to your daughter — this changes the urgency a lot and they may push for an emergency non-molestation order rather than waiting.
  • If you feel unsafe in the meantime, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247, free, 24/7) can talk you through immediate safety planning, even if you're not sure "abuse" is the right word for what's happening.
You're not being unreasonable wanting him to stop turning up. Owning the bricks and mortar doesn't give him the right to frighten you or hurt your daughter. Sending you strength. 💛

Email template to send to your solicitor

thought it might help to have something ready to send straight to your solicitor, so you're not trying to find the words while you're still shaken up. Something like:
Dear [Solicitor's name],
I need to update you urgently on an incident with my husband on [date]. He came to the house to collect an item, which he has done before without issue. This time he became verbally abusive and was screaming at me. My daughter tried to intervene and he grabbed her face, injuring her lip. He then left the property.
I reported this to the police and it has been logged [include crime reference number if you have one].
I have asked him not to come to the house when I'm there and to give notice before attending, but he insists it's his property and he can't be stopped, and has even suggested he could move back in. Today he entered the house again while I was at work, without my knowledge, to drop something off that wasn't needed.
I no longer feel safe with him entering the property unannounced and am concerned about what could happen if this continues, particularly given my daughter's safety. Please can we discuss urgently whether a non-molestation order and/or occupation order can be applied for, and whether the recent incident means this could be done on an emergency basis without notice.
I'm happy to speak by phone at short notice if that's easier.
Kind regards,

[Your name]

Just tweak the details and dates. Having the police crime reference number in there if you have one will help them move quickly. Sending you strength, this isn't on you. 💛

Thank you for taking the time to give me this information.
The police did follow up with me, we had a video call and they gave my daughter the option to press charges. She didn't want to which I totally understand. Not excusing what he did at all but it was a very minor injury.
Last week there was a further incident and I was alone in the house with him. He wanted me to move out so he could move back in. He was shouting and gathering up my clothes and throwing them in the garden (he initially tried throwing them out of the front door but i blocked the door).
I rang the police and they came very quickly. By this time he was sobbing and very apologetic so the police had a gentle word with him and he left.
They talked to me about the non mol and occupation orders etc but I can't do this unless there is another, more serious incident.

I think he realises how seriously I've taken this and now lets me know when he's coming to the house so I can make sure im out. He runs a business from here so needs to collect things regularly.

I've also set up a security camera.
The whole thing has made me very anxious but there's not a great deal I can do about it.

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