Has anyone ever left the home to separate divorce but been able to get back into it after?

[Aloeapple]

I'm leaving my DP however he doesn't know yet and I know I will struggle to get him to leave the house and he will try to work me round (which he has done many times in the past). I want to keep our house though. Without going into the details, he would be unable to keep the house on his own whereas I could, he won't be happy about this though. I am debating leaving initially, however this would be with our two young children, with the intention of moving back in when he leaves. I have spoken to a couple of friends though who left their home when leaving a relationship and they have noth advised against this as they were unable to get back into the house afterwards.
Did anyone else manage this?

If you want to keep the house by buying out his share you shouldn’t leave for a few reasons

1. he will have no incentive to reach a financial agreement and could delay or add obstructions

2. you will be unable to argue that you must have that above any other / as you’ll already have demonstrated that to be incorrect

in theory you could move out and agree finances and once all completed move back in. It will depend on your ex and whether you two can both work amicably to reach agreement

im the meantime where will you go and how will the existing bills on the current house be paid?

will you pass mortgage affordability to not only take over the mortgage but also add on any equity he is due ?

So the issue with staying in the home is that I am leaving with support of Women's Aid and I have no idea how he will respond when I say I want to separate. There is a chance he may be upset but reasonable but there is also a chance of him getting really angry to the point of it not being safe. I don't know for sure that that's what will happen but I definitely have reason to believe that it could. I am also worried that if I stay in the home that he will manage to talk me into 'working through things' as he has done in the past.

I would be able to get the mortgage on the basis of my own salary, although I am not currently working at the moment I took a career break and can return to that job and would get a mortgage on that wage. I have also applied for two other jobs in my field (as these are closer to home) which have even higher salaries so if I got either of them then I would be able to get the mortgage myself. My parents have offered to lend me money to buy him out.

I honestly don't know where I would go right now. I have been offered a refuge place which I can take if I need to, I would also be on the priority list for an emergency council property due to our situation. I would want to return to our home if possible though and would only see leaving as a temporary measure as our two children are settled and happy where we are and they and I are part of the community (DP is not as he works away so much). We live somewhere with very limited property options, if I could get another house nearby then I would but it's very unlikely that something suitable will come up.

Your first priority is safety
its good you are working with women’s aid

I would also advise seeing a solicitor for professional advise pertinent to your situation

it is theoretically possible to move out into temporary accommodation then secure an occupation order which would exclude him from the home and allow you back - the bar is rightly high on this - a solicitor can advise on your chances.

its is theoretically possible to leave and through the process of financial settlement agree to buy his share out and timeframe for his departure and your return - but if you leave it’s likely he will string it out as he has little incentive to speed up a path that will ultimately remove him from that home. Will he be able to afford to buy another house as example ?

the main argument with leaving is trying to justify your only option is that house vs no other possibility. You may be able to do this if you’re in a refuge or temporary accommodation as there’s not suitable housing long term- more challenging perhaps if you simply rented elsewhere.

you also need to ultimately think about child access and whether this is a concern in regard safety and what this looks like

however, your immediate and short term safety absolutely trumps advice on not leaving . If you are in danger in anyway then leave