Hi all. Separated from DP of 10 years due to him putting me down constantly, communication completely broke down. We have a 2 almost 3 year old DS. He's bought me out of the house and while looking for somewhere myself I was staying there with him staying at his dad's a few times a week and me going to mums twice a week but the arguments continued and he would be home some nights and say why should he have to stay out. My DS health visitor and speech therapist told me they think this is coercive control as he's trying to control where I live and all the ins and outs. He wants him more than twice a week but DS is autistic and I've done the majority so far which was another big part in our relationship breakdown. I was burnt out, anxious, and on eggshells with my ex wondering what mood he would be in that day. I'm utterly exhausted. He then said he wants money from me to live in the house even though I'm moving in 2 weeks and he was mocking me saying I'm not going anywhere and he's stuck with me.
So I packed my stuff and have moved into my mum's. My younger brother and sister are here and it's a 2 bed house so already cramped (I'm 31 but we have a 17 and 20 year age gap, so they're kids!). But I couldn't take the abuse and him using me living there as something he can weoponise. He's worn me down so much.
I'm at my mum's for the first time with DS tonight, he stayed with his dad last night. I'm finding it so difficult and he's so routine orientated I'm praying this doesn't effect him. Just needed some words of hope that things get better. I've applied to rent for now just to get myself somewhere but I do have money to buy but can't stay at my mum's that long. I feel like I'm just invading everyone's space and craving my own so bad. Ex also talking about court and threatening to 'lock the door' if he wants DS there longer and said 'he'll come back to you when I say he can come back'. I've applied to rent a house I viewed yesterday and hoping things go through as I can move in in 2 weeks. Just needed to rant I'm sorry if this is pointless, this feels like such a low point in my life. I was with ex from the age of 20 I'm 31 now and feel like I've totally lost myself and based my personality on him. Feeling lost and really hoping I find myself throughout all this.