How did you find your strength?

[BeCosyMauveCrab]

Ladies, how did you find your inner strength? I’m feeling very panicked and overwhelmed. He left 3 weeks ago. We are still trying to spend time together as a family on a Saturday and he sees the kids for dinner twice a week. I am really struggling feeling lost and a bit overwhelmed. My mum is also having tests for dementia so it’s a lot to deal with. I need to be strong for the kids but I’m wobbly all the time.

One foot in front of the other.
one day at a time, or if that feels too much - one hour at a time.

you can do this.

Hello
I am about 3 months down the line from you and what has helped me has included:

• minimising contact with him. I have found it too hard and raw to engage much.
• going to the gym / for a run
• reading self help books/ listening to podcasts about break ups
• getting away for the weekend / away for the night for work.
• listening to songs like Christina Aguilera “fighter” and dancing in the kitchen !

it’s very hard.

@BeCosyMauveCrab- Sorry to read your post, I was in your position years ago, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I totally agree with the two posters above especially limiting contact with your partner/dh.

Contact all benefits offices to advise of your change in situation including council tax office.

concentrate on whatever chore/event you are doing i.e. if I was driving to work, I would concentrate on that task, once at work I threw myself in to what I was doing.

i also only communicated with my ex dh via email, I set up a folder for all his communication to me to go into. Once a week or if I was feeling able/stronger to look at the communications I would look at the emails and deal with them

Good luck you will get there 💐

Stop spending time as a family on Saturdays.

how old are the kids?

do you work?

it’s hard and very early days but
minimise contact unless about the kids
go out when he’s with them
see friends
go for a walk /run:gym/coffee/sit in park with a book / podcast

ate you married ? House /finances to sort ?

We separated to give us room to get individual counselling. We are hoping we can reconcile after.

Fake it in front of the kids

phone every friend , aunt, ex work colleague you know until you find one who turns up on the doorstep with a bottle of a wine

cut yourself some slack - you don’t need a perfect house and perfect meals every day

try and get some exercise - a walk - every day

yes to communication via email - it’s a record as well as a distance

he has left - you don’t need him however it feels right now - is he expecting YOU to change ? No man is worth that. Individual counselling - so another obligation on you when you already have so much on yoir plate ? Although I admit one round of counselling helped me - realise that he had no respect for me what so ever and we had to make the split permanent

being wobbly is quite fine and normal