Financial advice to help me make a fair offer in divorce

[Mani2024]

I need some advice about where I can get some financial advice. My husband and I are separating but currently still live together. I completed the online form to start divorce proceedings last week. I don’t think we’re in the 20 week cooling off period yet. Not until we receive some form of notification to let us know the application has been ratified.

I want to organise as much as I can as early as I can as my attempts to separate have been going on for 2.5 years. There are some complex financial matters including the recent sale of his business, inheritance, pensions, savings, house equity and issues around him spending his assets recklessly. I need to ensure whatever we agree is a fair split however I don’t know where to begin as our affairs are not straight forward. I’m really worried that while this is going on he will continue to spend endlessly on crap he doesn’t need. As an example he’s just bought himself a new guitar for about 4K and also motorbike. He is expecting 50% of everything I have but is wasting money he has that could be used to house himself and the children.

would it be an accountant that I go to? I really don’t know where to begin and I don’t think a solicitor would sit down and do the math would they?

A relative is a little further on than you and was reluctant to pay legal fees etc He was pushing for 50/50 but owns a business. She was persuaded to see a solicitor and they were really helpful with regard to shares in the business and ANY purchases are also part of the marital pot pensions etc.

Yes she has had to pay for the advice but it was more than worth it.

You should start with a good divorce solicitor

You will need to complete a form E and have everything laid out on that. He will have to provide bank statements as to his spending for 12 months. Then you need to engage a financial accountant to oversee this and suggest what is a fair and equitable solution. You can have a simple one which will cost a few thousand but gives you the security of knowing that everything has been looked at with regards to the future.

OP - he is not wrong expecting 50% - by the sound of it you have a long marriage. So that is a starting point.
However - items worth of £500+ are declared on the Form E and are all part of assets that are accounted in the division. So - his share will include the guitar and motocycle.

Your nest next step is solicitors and filling out Form E and doing financial disclosures. This will make sure there is a snapshot/record of the assets that you can negotiate the division of.

And yes - solicitor is your next step. An accountant has no knowledge how to approach a divorce's asset division. Solicitors will know what to do.
Don't try to save money on this - especially if you have complicated assets.

Your comment about accountants is incorrect. There are specialist accountants who deal with this. Solicitors often have ones they use. The various plans depend on whether you need a detailed investigation eg if there is a family business or a simple one ie a financial predictor for the future. You can also use a financial advisor. The cost varies and will be paid by both sides.

@corblimeygvnr

Yes - of course there are accountants that work with solicitors on divorce finances.

I just meant - fist step is getting the process started with solicitors - Forms E, etc. Accountants don't handle divorces on their own - they won't help the OP to go you appropriate steps of divorce.

If finances are indeed complicated - solicitors would get the right kind of accountants involved.

Ok thank you all. So it sounds like form E is the first step. I have no idea which order all of this goes in and where to begin. Hopefully I can start the form E now and then go to solicitor after.

I understand everything starts at 50/50 and more than happy to go with that as a starting point.
im just worried he will spend all his money on things that are not essential and then expect to still walk away with equal or more than myself when I’m over here still wearing my maternity knickers from five years ago because I’m saving every penny so myself and the kids will be ok

You need to get up to date pension values. They can take months to come. The sooner the better.

@Mani2024

It's not only about you filling out Form E - it's solicitors writing to him asking for him to provide financial disclosure and fill out his Form E too.
It's about signalling to him that the process has started. And once the solicitors contact him - it starts officially.
If he then turns around and continues massive spending - this will be on record. And they then can tell him in firm terms that the spending will be accounted for in his assets.

So - really - don't wait.

You can do it all through family mediation. Much cheaper and quicker. You can find one close to you on the FMC website (family mediation council). Go for someone who is accredited.

https://www.advicenow.org.uk/get-help/family-and-children/divorce-and-separation/how-fill-your-financial-statement-form-e

this guide is useful for form e and wikivorce also has info

also look at the summary form the court will use as a guide
www.gov.uk/government/publications/financial-remedy-summary-of-finances-form-es2

OP - I’d second getting solicitors involved at this stage - you can always put a pause and go it yourself later.

Mediation and DIY - works well for the situation when things are straightforward, and/or you have a fair/cooperating partner you are talking to.

In your case - it sounds like things are both complicated and he&you don’t quite agree. AND he is already escalating with his spend.

A mediator would have not much weight - they are impartial. And if Ex is smart - he’ll drag it out while doing his damage.

And equally - if you DIY - he’ll do the same.

You’ll waste time; he’ll waste more money - and eventually you’ll end up at the same place and wish you’d used the solicitors sooner.

Definitely go to a solicitor sooner rather than later. There's no point in you filling out your Form E if he's not.

https://www.pensionsdivorce.co.uk/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22664252367&gbraid=0AAAABADLC_-Xzmcb4UOjTvJP1I92z3xEF&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0JnRBhDJARIsALobnXb1Fxjf-q60n4HJWJyWhOuxiXZDRXPPEgLgN1aP9uN4moh8yof_jegaAvPxEALw_wcB

Thank you for your reply. I think you are right I perhaps need to go straight to a solicitor. He is saying he can’t afford to rent anywhere which is fair as rentals are really expensive where we live but I can see this going on and on. He has said he doesn’t want to sell or allow me buy him out even as he’ll never be able to buy a house with his credit rating and his income. He wants to buy me out but he wouldn’t be able to afford that either. He said he’s not paying for a mediator but I know he will absolutely not factor in his business assets when it comes to putting everything into the pot for a fair split. I have suggested we just start with getting some house valuations and I’ll request those CETV valuations for my two pensions.

aside from that, this all feels incredibly scary and lonely. I hope I can navigate my way out of this sooner rather than later

@Mani2024 Getting a solicitor involved at this stage is not the same as going to court. Solicitor will just start a formal process and IF ex ignores emails asking for voluntary disclosure - you'll know that the next step is to file a form in court. This way ex will have to do formal disclosure mandated by the court.

And even if that process starts - it still does not mean you have to go all the way through hearings and using representation. You can change how you manage the process at any time. You can use solicitor at the start, then self represent.

Often - people who start up being difficult and delaying things - take time to realise that they have no choice but to become reasonable - disclose all, and follow the usual way assets, etc are shared. So - he won't be able to get a share of your assets, while keeping his shielded. He also doesn't get to decide NOT to allow you to buy him out; or hand on to a house he can't afford. All of it - if you can't agree on a fair sensible deal - will be decided by a Judge, using family law precedents, not by what he (or you) want happen.

So - really - do not waste time on mediation at this point. Both of you - I think - don't quite have the full picture of financials. And both of you do not really know how Family Law would approach splitting your specific combination of assets. Your chances of agreeing in mediation at this time are slim.

Once you have a full picture of all financials - and maybe a proposal on both sides - you can try mediating.