Ex with blinkers on

[BHA377]

Advice appreciated please.

I want a divorce after over 20 years of marriage. My husband was sacked last year and is showing no signs of getting a job. He seems to be in complete denial about the fact that we have even separated to be honest other than sleeping in our spare room downstairs. We have one daughter who is about to go to high school. My family are in the South of England and I live in the North so whilst I have friends we have no family connections at all.

I am at my wits end. He is refusing to leave and has nowhere to go and stay. He also has no way of renting somehwre as he has no job. Whilst I appreciate that he owns half the house I can't keep supporting him and as selfish as it sounds I really don't want to. I am paying all the mortgage and bills and have been for over a year. I have never been so lonely as I am now and our living situation is impacting my mental health.

I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like he has me over a barrel. Legally where do I stand.

You need to put th3 house up for sale and he has the right to stay there till it's sold as do you. File the divorce papers asap and move on.

You don’t need to sell the house

you need to start the divorce if not already done and as part of that start the financial settlement process. Fill out form A and get the ball rolling

you can’t kick him out and he’s entitled to household money ( ie you paying) until it’s sortec

see. Solicitor and get the ball going ( you can if wish do a lot yourself to keep costs down)

Thank you.

Get legal advice and start divorce proceedings. You may well have to put up with him being there until you can sell the house, or possibly buy him out?

You can start the divorce process yourself in line to keep costs down. Look at https://divorce.wikivorce.com/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23071422390&gbraid=0AAAAAD8_bjoWoqdQGHptM5LsARHg2iYBA to get yourself some knowledge of the process.

Honestly situation reversed what would you do? Why is it honestly ok for one person to dump another out of their home after twenty years of marriage?

I don't believe I mentioned dumping him out of the home?

I asked for advice regarding next steps for separation as he is in denial, jobless due to his improper behaviour and not contributing anything to the household. Outside all of that I do not love him and often not even like him. What would you suggest, stay here miserably supporting him forever?

You can't make him leave, but don't do anything for him and don't give him a penny. Initiate the divorce and it's up to him if he claims benefits or finds a job. He sounds like a deadweight.

When a couple splits one of them has to leave. He doesn't have a job so can't pay the mortgage. How do you think he's going to stay in the house? It's obvious he should leave. He will be entitled to housing benefit until she buys him out, she won't.

One of them does not have to leave until the financial settlement finalised. They are both entitled to stay. And when op sees a solicitor they will tell her that she’s expected to continue paying things as she is now and he’s entitled to access money from the marriage

the status wuo is generally accepted until finance settlement and divorce is finalised

I don't believe I mentioned dumping him out of the home?
I asked for advice regarding next steps for separation as he is in denial, jobless due to his improper behaviour and not contributing anything to the household. Outside all of that I do not love him and often not even like him. What would you suggest, stay here miserably supporting him forever?

Well you said he’s refusing to leave and has nowhere to go, sorry if I read it wrong I thought you’d asked him to just leave. I have no problem with divorce if that’s what has to be done. Sounds like the two of you need a proper sit down about what happens next.