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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Family issue - Mother in law going through divorce and my brother in law suspects her new partner is potentially cheating.

3 replies

Biosblbay · 06/06/2026 11:01

I really need some advice as it is causing rows between my husband and his brother. So my Mother in law is going through a really rough divorce, it’s so messy due to the amount of pre marital money that she had, there’s non molestation orders in place, the divorce has already cost her £100,000 and it still hasn’t reached the end of it, he is actually living in their marital home which mostly she owns due to the huge deposit she put down as she was the one with all the money (this house is in the millions), they own many other properties together but again, mostly due to her as she was the one with the money to put deposits down, so of course he is now going for 50/50. They were only married 5 years 7 months, no children, but it’s just become nasty, so of course the Mother in law is highly stressed, has an awful lot going on as well as still working full time.

So during the divorce she has met someone else (terrible time to meet someone but what can you do!) in fact, they only got together 2 months after she filed for divorce, they have now been together a year and she is currently living with him. They met through my husband for a work related meeting and the rest is history, but my husband has known this new guy for some time as it’s one of his clients.

So, the issue that’s happened is last night my husbands brother, Mum, sister and the new guy went out last night for a pre wedding drink as they are attending a wedding today, they had all had a bit to drink last night, my husbands brother called him at around midnight last night in hysterics but he reckons he saw some messages come through the new guys phone from a women, he didn’t see the name but he saw “I miss you, I wish you were here” and then he saw him reply “I miss you to” - now what we said he should have done was brought it up there and then, but he hasn’t which has now put us in an awkward situation.

My husband doesn’t fully believe it, drink obviously makes you see things or misinterpret things, his brother was drunk last night, but spoke to him this morning and he still says “I saw what I saw”. But of course if something is going on, they wouldn’t want there mum to go through any more stress or heartbreak at the minute as she is going through a really hard time. The brother wants to tell their Mum, my husband said wait until the divorce is over, but then things could have been deleted by then. My husband is worried if it’s bought up to the new guy without getting the nun involved it could spook him off, or put the Mum in a really bad situation. Just really stuck on what to do here.

We all just don’t know how to address this situation. Do we just leave it? But then what if he is seeing someone else. So difficult! Really didn’t expect this from the new guy at all, he seems so genuine which is why we are not fully convinced but again you just never really know!

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 06/06/2026 18:05

Why would you wait til the divorce is over? The guy is living with mil now. Db isn’t going to forget what he thinks he saw. If you believe him, then the only thing for db to do is mention to mil that ‘he saw the bf acting a bit sus, and appeared to be texting someone at the wedding. Obv hopes it’s nothing, but just wanted to check she’s ok or if she has any suspicions.’

hindsight is fabulous but I would have suggested she cools it with new guy more generally til the divorce is settled, though that ship has perhaps sailed…

Dillydollydingdong · 06/06/2026 18:10

Get a private investigator onto it. I know, it would be expensive but worth it to get an end to the problem, and it sounds like there is plenty of money in the family.

whippersnapper55 · 06/06/2026 22:20

If the brother wants to tell his mum what he saw, he should go ahead. She's a grown woman, not a child, she doesn't need shielding from the truth. He should just tell her what he saw and then it's up to her what she does with that information.

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