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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Want to divorce but scared re finances

2 replies

hopefulcandidate · Yesterday 23:25

Hi, I’ve been married 17 years and the main thing preventing me from divorcing is fear of being financially destitute. I am wondering if anyone has been in a postition where they have been given substantially less than half?
for context, my husband is a high earner. He earns £15k a month plus last year, for example he earned over £200k in bonuses. He also has a decent pension though I’ve no idea what’s in it. He obviously pays the high level of tax and as he is classed as self employed he does a tax return so the figured quoted are before tax had been deducted. We also have approx £850k in savings. We are also mortgage free on a property that we bought for £500k but I’m not sure of value now. So looks great on paper.
However, this is the bit I’m panicking about: I have always earned basically minimum wage and been propped up financially by him. He pays everything. Currently I am working part time on just above minimum wage, earning£12k a year. There are no children. But I do have a disability which means it is really difficult for me to have any job whatsoever, and when I have worked full time hours in the past it has led to difficulties regarding my disability and my mental health being absolutely destroyed in the process.
my fear is that a court would decide to award me much less than half due to basically everything being ‘his’ money. I have worked so hard to make this marriage work but in terms of finances I have basically contributed nothing. That they wouldn’t feel it was fair to give away half of his hard earned money? However, I would need to have enough to buy a small flat outright and to be able to be suecure in old age because I wouldn’t be able to afford any pension contributions at all. It would be a scrap to pay bills on my wage alone I think, from what I’ve estimated, and anything such as dental treatment would require dipping into savings. There would certainly be no fancy holidays, gym membership or unnecessary niceties which I am completely fine with. Believe me if I was able to work full time I would do so. I am very afraid of having no pension contributions, but with assets divided then savings would alleviate that problem.
am I likely to get half of everything, or will my work situation be counted against me and I would get less. The only way I can proceed with divorce is to be confident I would be financially ok as my future earning potential and lack of pension is a stress.
PS I know some people will see my post as tone deaf and it’s really not meant to be. With a close to even split I would have no financial concerns, but my fear is that I would only be offered say a token gesture eg 25% to protect my husband’s hard earned assets.
please be gentle with me I really am very scared, as I don’t really understand the divorce process. I am also completely heartbroken. I love my husband but I have recently found he has been lying and cheating on me for several years.

OP posts:
RandomMess · Yesterday 23:36

You have a long marriage so the starting point is sharing the assets 50:50. They courts also look at the needs of each party.

You would need enough to buy a suitable property outright, it sounds like you could be eligible for some spousal support and pension sharing.

You need to get some recommendations of solicitors that get good outcomes in circumstances such as yours - long marriage, disability and financially dependent.

💐

hopefulcandidate · Yesterday 23:45

Thank you for your reply. That is basically what Google said but I think my shame/ insecurities about basically being financially provided for during the whole marriage makes me fear judgement from the legal profession too. I’m actually embarrassed to go to a solicitor and explain that I have lived for free this whole time off my husband’s earnings, but I know I need to bite the bullet. I have found a couple of solicitors that look decent.

OP posts:
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