Hope your weekend went ok @BeCosyMauveCrab?
It is really hard, especially the first few months.
My ex has had our daughter for an increasing number of nights since the end of February and now does alternate weekends and weekend plus 2 nights. I’m still not totally used to it. I often find I feel really hollow and discombobulated after she gets picked up by him on the weekend. I have spent hours doomscrolling or flitting between jobs, feeling like I’ve wasted time. I even spent one weekend inside, apart from one supermarket trip, on my own binge watching ‘Maid’ on Netflix, which took me took a pretty dark place. However, I sat with feelings and let them pass. I acknowledged it is hard and I have a lot to process.
Separation and divorce are challenging circumstances, particularly if it was an abusive relationship or you were betrayed, so give yourself some grace and accept sometimes you’ll feel like shit and other times you’ll have a fantastic time; both are ok. There’s so much to process and get used to so try not to feel guilty and practise self-compassion.
Some solo weekends I am super productive and do lots of house jobs. I try and do my cleaning on the weekday evenings my daughter isn’t with me so I don’t feel like I’m spending my weekends doing it.
Some weekends I will see friends, family and prioritise something for me such as the cinema or a potter around and a visit to a nice cafe. Yesterday, I got the train to do a hike I’d been wanting to do. Today, I’m knee deep in house jobs such as fixing things and mowing the lawn but I did have a leisurely start to the day.
I hope you can start to settle into your new routine and find some activities that bring you joy and peace.