Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Can my ex object to our son starting school after I move?

10 replies

Confuzzzled · 29/05/2026 11:22

Hi all, wasn't sure which topic to post this in! Me and my partner of 10 years have separated and I'm about to move out (still living with him) and move 25 mins away to be closer to my family (I live in Wales). DS is turning 3 in August and was about to start nursery in September (Just 2 and a half hours a day for the first term). He was offered his school place last week, and if I move area I would have to find another school and have been told I can fill in a late admissions form and a school may have place for him in September. The issue I have is my ex. He's the most controlling man I've ever met (hence why we're separating because I've finally snapped) and he's saying 'nope he's not going to school there he can stay in the one up here'. Although I am the main caregiver and that's another story as he wants to take me to court because I've asked for a slower transition when it comes to the amount of overnight stays as DS is about to be assessed for autism and still can't communicate. We still co-sleep and he's still very reliant on me, my ex just has him for the day on Fridays at the moment and I do the rest. I just wanted to know where I stand here if he really objects to him starting school there?

It makes the most logical sense as my mum doesn't work and will be a stones throw away if needed for pickups etc as we both work full time and he's just not putting DS first and is only thinking about what he wants. In his words 'I don't want him going to a scruffy school down there'. He's always seen my hometown as beneath him even though his hometown is just half hour away 😂 There are some great schools that will accommodate his additional learning needs. If he was to stay in the school we already have a place for it would be too much of a commute for him back and forth as that usual 25 min drive becomes an hour with traffic that time of morning. Just feeling so overwhelmed and want what's best for my son and also trying to put myself in the equation and be near my support system.

OP posts:
30mins · 29/05/2026 11:39

Don’t argue with the cactus over this
Silence is your power
Move and enroll him at school.
you need to move first anyway

30mins · 29/05/2026 11:41

He is creating conflict to draw you into thinking you can’t move because the drive is not workable. Don’t argue you don’t need his permission as main carer

RandomMess · 29/05/2026 11:41

I think in your circumstances I would move and then apply for a ECHP to find the best school for your DC which may not be either of the current options.

SueKeeper · 29/05/2026 11:44

If you had him in a nursery near your new home, you'd have more arguments for going to a school there, friends consistency, transition...

Is there an in-between option, 10 mins from you, 15 from him? That you'd be happy with as a compromise or is it just space/roads between the two places?

I think you'll need legal advice, it doesn't sound like it will be a straightforward separation, so get everything done in one go with legal support, instead of arguing each point with him as they crop up.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 29/05/2026 11:46

I’d move to your mums immediately even if it’s only temporary and then you have an address and you can look at the options
your ex is being awful - don’t stand for it just get it organised and let him look ridiculous x

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 29/05/2026 11:50

In theory you both have to agree on a school place as you both hold parental responsibility. He could take you to court over it.

I would get legal advice.

StandingDeskDisco · 29/05/2026 12:35

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 29/05/2026 11:50

In theory you both have to agree on a school place as you both hold parental responsibility. He could take you to court over it.

I would get legal advice.

Always good to have legal advice to know where you stand.

@Confuzzzled
I would suggest just moving ASAP and putting DS in the school you want. Let ex take you to court. It will take ages, and by that time your son will be settled and the courts won't want to move him.
Meanwhile, if ex gets abusive or tries taking son physically, that will only count against him when it comes to court.

He is not the boss of you and you don't have to do what he says.

narrowpath · 29/05/2026 12:40

I'm not sure how different Wales is from England, but a couple of things to consider (both in your favour) are:

  • If your child is just turning 3, then they will not be school age for another year. Rules for school are strict because it is a legal requirement to send your child to school, but preschool is not the same thing. There is no legal requirement to send your child to preschool so I don't see how your husband can force you one way or another
  • New school applications are based on address of residence. If you move now to your be near your parents, then your school application (next year if your child is only 3 in Aug) would be the new address. I don't know about Wales but in most parts of England schools have strict admissions criteria and catchment areas. It is very unlikely a child would get awarded a place in a school 25 miles away, even if that was what both parents wanted.

Ultimately, I believe that your partner might be able to try to raise an objection to you moving to a new area as a whole, but once the house move has actually happened, he can't object to your child attending school where he lives because that is the decision of school admissions rather than parents

Phineyj · 29/05/2026 13:47

RandomMess · 29/05/2026 11:41

I think in your circumstances I would move and then apply for a ECHP to find the best school for your DC which may not be either of the current options.

It's Wales.

Confuzzzled · 29/05/2026 19:45

Thank you all, planning on getting out of there asap been down my mums today to figure it out. My mums house is a bit difficult as I'm 31 but have 14 year old brother and 11 year old sister (huge age gap!). So my mum is still bringing kids up herself and struggles for space at home. But I need to get out of this situation for me and DS and I'll be sorting a school for him where we can be near or family and friends. Ex is going to try and make my life as difficult as possible because that's the type of person he is, but hopefully better times come eventually 😂 Thank you all for your comments I appreciate it so much.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page