Adult daughter alienated

[DoubleLines]

My partner of 20 years (not married) changed the locks on our home. I could not get back into the house. He did this in front of our 17 year old daughter. He asked her to get me some clothes and she dumped them at my feet. I never got back into my home. Massive legal battle unfolded and it took two years of solicitors bills to sort it out. He prolonged the legal so it would cost me and it did. He controlled me for 20 years and now he controls our daughter, my replacement. She is now at University funded by him. If seen her a few times in 4 years. She’s very introvert and difficult with conversation. We haven’t spoken about what happened as she won’t engage. I feel that I have lost her. She ignores my texts, emails, wont talk on the phone. She is now 22 and I really thought she would need her mother one day. I am absolutely done with trying. Helpful advice please?

You mentioned he controlled you for 20 years and now he controls her. That she is very introverted and difficult with conversation. She sounds stressed and to have grown up in the midst of a very unhappy and dysfunctional situation. She won't just emerge into adulthood with sudden agency to decide to build a relationship with you, regardless of her father who completely funds her life atm. 22 is no age. She isn't financially independent yet. It may take for her to have her own children, to build her own family before she has enough independence and insight to consider her relationship with you better.

Don't give up on her. Even if she never comes round to you, At least you will know that you left no stone unturned.