Experience of single parenthood and finances

[weetabix80]

Hi. I need to leave my relationship, my gut is screaming at me for various reasons but ultimately my DP talks to me so disrespectfully in front of my children and I can’t stand it anymore. The thing that’s scaring me is money, and I’m keen to hear about how single mums cope.

we aren’t married but we own our house 5050 but can’t sell it for another two years.

I earn 61k, a decent salary but means I can’t claim any benefits, yet not really that far over the threshold so I’ll barely be well off. I know he will want 50/50 and therefore have to give me nothing. He’s said he would get a nanny over having them any less and having to pay me CM. He travels a lot so god knows how he’d make it work but he would find a way.

looking for reassurance that I will be ok and I can make it work solo on that salary. 🙃 he earns a huge salary so we live a very nice lifestyle currently and it’s going to be a very drastic change for me, but of course money is not more important than happiness, but I need to know that I can do it by myself!

It really depends where you are in the country ( housing costs vary hugely) how old your children are ( nursery /after school
etc) and what equity you’ll get

coukd be comfortable or could be right . But either way if your relationship is over you need to face up to it

im in London 🤦🏼‍♀️ kids are in private school which he will have to pay for if they stay. But yes you’re right it’s kind of irrelevant I’m just having a wobble

You do realise most single parents earn far less? You won’t have your luxury lifestyle but you’ll be fine. You are in a far better position than most single parents.

Just do a budget. Look at all your costs over the year, create a line for each category, ( weekly shop, leisure, money for holidays if you take one, gifts for Christmas/birthdays, optician and dentist costs, energy bills, money for repairs and maintenance fund etc, then allocate your salary across that. Then you’ll know what you have to live on and the lifestyle you will have

Fully aware that I am in a better position that lots of people, i think it’s the total lack of support from anybody that scares me… if I lose my job etc. But yes I can budget and live accordingly

Oh and make sure you get whatever share of his pension or assets you are entitled to.

What an arsehole he is, preferring his own kids to be liked after by a nanny than their own Mother, just so that he doesn’t have to pay maintenance. What a shit.

Oh and make sure you get whatever share of his pension or assets you are entitled to

They're not married so she's entitled to none of that.

Yep not married so not entitled to anything sadly

I get that it can be scanty when suddenly you’re 100% financially responsible. It’s daunting esp if you’ve had the luxury of a high earning partner

you need to work out whether that’s a good enough reason to stay or if you’re so unhappy being single is better