1 week on, 1 week off or 2,2,5,5 for young kids

[AldiNappies]

Kids are 5 and 7 and we plan to live close by to each other, near their school and have similar home set ups (separate houses but their things in both). We are working through 50:50 custody one of us wants to alternate whole weeks the other prefers 2,2,5,5. What are experiences of these for kids of these ages? Advice gratefully received.

Both of those sound better for the parents than the kids. I do a fixed weekly schedule with my ex, so it's not exactly 50/50 but it means that my daughter never goes more than 2 nights without seeing both parents. Would something like that work?

I think these 2,2,5,5 arrangements are way too much movement for young kids. They probably have no idea whether they’re coming or going. I think week on week off is better.

I have done 2:2:5:5 for the last 6 years. It works great if you live nearby. Kids were happy with it - when they got older (teenage) we offered to switch to alternate weeks but kids refused as they like the current system. They like knowing that Mondays are always with parent A, Thursdays with parent B, etc, so weekday schedules are extremely predictable.

2/2/5/5 is a lot of chopping and changing. Might work if you’re amicable and kids have 2 sets of things so they’re not having to pack bags constantly between houses

We would need 50:50 so probably couldn't do this and don't want loads of frequent swaps. Any type of separation is really for the parents so whatever we chose is going to be sub optimal which I feel bad about.

There is also 3,4,4,3 which means your little ones would see you both without too much time between.

We did week on week off arrangement for 15 years. I found it hard at first but soon got settled with it. Handover was a Friday morning via the childminder whilst at primary school. Once she went to secondary school it was easier to change to Saturday mornings.

Thank you, will look into this. I'm trying to find a balance between not too many swaps and not too much time apart. Ideally we would have very similar set ups at home with duplicates of favourite toys etc.

Have you had this experience yourself? I'm trying to find a balance between not too many swaps and having too much time away from each parent.

I'd say you should look at weekly changes when kids are a bit older. You need shorter stays when younger.
My experience was something similar to 2255 when at mid-primary, weekly changes from about late primary. Two-weekly in late teenage.
If weekly, build in an evening or similar at the other place.

Thank you, this is my sense too. We will plan to have school uniform and all their key things duplicated to avoid them feeling like they are packing and unpacking.

The best thing is try something, and if it’s too unsettling or not working, remain flexible in trying to rework and alternate

kids can adapt to most things as long as parents arent warring or at each other or high conflict,

if you can remain civil ( or friendly), flexible, willing to compromise etc your children will be just fine