Separation - when he doesn’t want to?

[GrumpyTurtle66]

We had the dreaded chat last week where I expressed I was no longer happy with his lies and general lack of effort in our relationship (lies about money, other women, literally anything and everything) and I have expressed explicitly and bluntly that I want to split. We are not married (just another promise that has never been fulfilled) but we do own a house together.

He does not want to split. We have been together approx 7 years and I am just done. He has since promised me babies, marriage, the whole bag.

How can I get it through to him I just want to sell the house and be gone, he keeps trying to change my mind but this isn’t the first time he’s done this and he will return to being a total arse in a week or so.

How can I stay sane 🤦🏻‍♀️???

Do you have somewhere else you could live in the interim?

You just have to crack on with the practicalities. Can he buy you out of your share of the house?

It's emotionally harder when you can't serve him divorce papers as it were, but practically much much better. Grey rock and repeat the same line - we are not together. We need to sell the house. It will be valued at x time.

A solicitors letter might do it. He’s trying denial. Which is a normal response.

I haven’t unfortunately and can’t afford to pay the mortgage and rent or I would!

He could afford to buy me out of the house but doesn’t want to. I do not want to buy him out although I could potentially. I don’t want to live in this house as it’s just a reminder of all the crap.

I have a child from a previous relationship which also makes it harder for me to just up sticks as they are at school locally.

Hoping to get the house valued very soon but he’s being insufferable and smothering at the moment, which just makes me feel like a total cow for snubbing him 🙃

I would do a solicitor's letter. Tell him the relationship is over and give him the option to buy you out or the house will be put on the market. Are you able to sleep in a separate room? Also start telling people you've split up, including his friends and family if he has any. As others have said, it's denial. He needs to be confronted with reality.

Or just start telling people