Anyone else feeling exhausted by the divorce process?

[kellym222]

I am two years post separation and 10 months into the divorce process and I’m feeling so exhausted. It’s taking up so much of my energy and mental capacity and I’m keen to hear from others and understand how you cope with it and anything that has helped.

My ex agreed to mediation and then asked to stop it as he thought he could get more through solicitors so now this has gone on for months and they take 8 weeks to reply to one letter so progress feels non existent. Solicitor fees are costing me over £800 per month so I’ve had to cancel lots of things I used to enjoy.

I have the kids most of the time (he has them 2 nights every other weekend) so I’m not only limited on money but time and it’s challenging to keep everything running whilst this is going on. I have a busy, high responsibility full time job and I’ve been struggling to be on top form whilst handling this.

I try to be positive and to distract myself. I exercise, see my friends, get outside etc but I just feel in a real slump.

Do others feel the same and what has helped?

Sounds like your solicitors are useless. Can you instruct a new one? Is there something you’re both disagreeing on, eg pensions or assets?

My solicitor is very good, his solicitor is absolutely awful. In the 8 week reply period we emailed three times and called twice to chase. We will escalate to court if needed but that’s even more money and more time.

What we are both proposing in terms of money has been far apart

Sometimes it’s worth setting a court date as it tends to ‘concentrate the mind’. You may be able to agree before the date

Sometimes when so far apart you need to do the court route. Unfortunately solicitors charge for absolutely everything so it's not in his solicitors interest to actually get him moving because they earn more!
Try and view it as a process , it will get resolved eventually, emotionally it's best to deal with it in a very factual way (solicitors get paid to write stuff) and don't take it personally, there's a reason he's an ex.
With those sorts of legal bills, it's only going to get higher the more he delays, so seriously think about instructing for court because if his mind set is to.delay then you're looking at years .

@kellym222 I would stop your solicitor chasing so much. That in itself has cost me a fortune.

Go to court. I have spent years trying to avoid it only to end up there anyway. Im am almost over the line now, and I am SO exhausted. Its really taken its toll.