Divorce and household items: what are my rights during separation?

[Flatwhiteeveryday]

It maybe be a long shot, but I am wondering if anyone has been in this situation or something similar?
My ex and me going through a divorce and the marital house has been sold now.
To make long story short, I filed the divorce because of coercive control/financial abuse.

Since 10 months he never fundamentally cared about our 4 year old child, never even taken him to the park for 1 hour.
I asked CMS to calculate the child maintenance but as he is self employed, he writes off too much expenses and his net profit is extremely low, we are talking about £8K/year net profit.

During our stay in the house up until now, he pays the mortgage that is close to £1000 a month, and I pay the rent, council tax, childcare, etc.

We try to have a discussion about what household items go with who upon moving apart, and I told him I am really in need of the tumble dryer as I will have our child with me all the time. I said I am happy if he takes the rest, the fridge and the dishwasher.

And this is where things gone funny, he is adamant that he is entitled for the tumble dryer and some other appliances as he paid for them.

i tried to pinpoint that those were purchased during the marriage, therefore they count as a marital asset.

He also wants to charge me for a mobile phone he bought me during the marriage.

All he wants still, is just control, control, control.

How can I stand up for myself? What are my options?
what would you do if you were me?

Thank you!

Honestly? I’d let him have it. Not worth the fight and stress of it. Yes in principle you are right but buying a few appliances is well
worth the price for freedom

Just give him the tumble dryer. You ate so close to getting shot of him.

If he is controlling - like my ex was - then if you want something he will withhold it, whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation. The less you ask of him the weaker his control of you. Divorcing is likely to make him more desperate to wield control over you so the more you ask or beg or insist the more he will hang on to stuff, even if he really doesn’t want it.

So let the tumble dryer go. It’s infuriating, but it’s a small price to pay. Stop talking about it, stop asking for it, plan to buy a lovely new one. If he thinks you really don’t care/don’t want it he may even just give it to you.

Married people can have individual assets and possessions. Basically if they buy it, then they own it until or unless they gift it or a court decides otherwise. In the event of a dispute over a possession involving the police proof of purchase would usually be sufficient to establish ownership.

The legal system isn’t going to intervene in your lives unless you ask it to. Which is what happens with divorce or if you apply for financial support during a separation.

It isn’t as simple as this but the idea that marriage means you own half of everything isn’t really correct unless you jointly buy it. It does place obligations to financially support your spouse and your children which is an obligation the court can uphold.

What gives you entitlement to half of assets and liabilities is divorce. You can ask for these items as part of the financial settlement and if/ when this is court agreed you can take them.

I would be very surprised if the phone and even the white goods weren’t purchased by his business. Assuming you are not a co owner, he will own the business. You can ask and get ownership of the business in your divorce settlement.

In terms of the phone, I would not want to be on a phone plan in his name. Give him back the phone and get your own.

A solicitor will give you better advice on your options now. Which can include financial support whilst you are separated and working towards divorce.