Am I unreasonable to avoid mediation and go straight to court?

[SharpBluePoster]

My husband of 19 years ago left me a few months again for a girl half his age from his gym. I have filed for divorce and have been encouraged to go to mediation to agree our financial affairs. He is very willing to do this. However, the thought of being anywhere near him is causing me huge anxiety. I can’t bear the thought of it. He has shattered my heart into a million pieces, I just can’t do it.

Am I mad to just pay whatever it costs to go to court to save myself the stress of being near him again?

He has moved out and we have no children so in no contact.

You will be expected to go to mediation before court unless exempt. Have a look on mediate Uk's website for the exemptions to see if you qualify.
Unfortunately, being upset about the end of a relationship isnt a legitimate exemption.
You could however request shuttle mediation, where you each talk separately to the mediator in different rooms (or zoom calls) and they feed back your positions/proposals.
You can of course do this all via solicitors rather than mediation, and still avoid court, but solicitors are much more expensive than mediation.
Sorry for the loss of your relationship, its hard xx

Unless money is not object, do the mediation. You’ll save so much. And then you can enjoy the savings all on you!

Go to mediation

hopefully finances shouldn’t be too tricky to resolve if there are no children

Go to mediation as you won’t have to face him anyway. They will conduct a shuttle meeting if you prefer so each or you sit in a separate room and the mediator goes from one room to another with proposals and arrangements.

Yes you’re mad to go to court, he’s likely to be feeling guilty and more generous now and the judge wouldn’t care about the affair would only care that the finances are fair. You’d also have to see him in court so it’s the same.
you can do shuttle mediation where they go from room or burial room to room, or you can stick a post it over his face on screen

Ps im really sorry this happened- ive only given legal advice not emotional support but there’s plenty of the latter too here if you update this thread or start another x