What should we tell the children if their dad moves out?

[RobinsAppear]

Been with DH 25 years, married for 15. Two children - 13 and 10. Relationship has always been fiery, but in the last 2 years-ish, has become pretty much impossible. Last year he moved out for a week. At the end of the week he issued an ultimatum that he came back then or he was never coming back. Regrettably, I gave in and he came back. I wasn't ready, felt that it needed more time and, ultimately, nothing has changed. Tonight it has got so bad that I have asked him to go again and he's currently saying he will go in the morning. I genuinely don't know if this is fixable, but know that nothing is getting sorted and that the whole house is having to live with this awful atmosphere, which just isn't fair. I need some head space. That being said, I am very wary that the kids have been through this once before. We never really went into detail about why he went last time. I think I said that he had a lot on at work and it was just easier for him to be at his mum's. But they're not stupid and they know he left after a weekend of blazing rows. I guess my question is what do we tell them this time? Do we bullshit them or are we straight with them? Even if we make the decision now about how permanent this is going to be, I can't answer their questions about how things are going to look, because I just don't know yet.

It depends if you feel it's for real this time. I'd probably both of you sit down with them and say for now - you have heard mum and dad have been having lots of disagreements this weekend. It's not been a nice environment for any of us and I'm sorry you've had to hear that.. Sometimes adults don't get along very well and so dad's going to move out just now to give us a bit of space from each other. We both love you very much and this isn't about you. Then tell them when they will next see him. Tell them if they are upset or have anything to ask or speak about they can come to you at any time and you will continue to keep them in the loop and finish by asking if they have any questions.

If you do decide it's for the long term then talk to them again together and tell them that, tell them what the plan will be going forward for contact with him. In the meantime, continue to check in with them and ask how they are.