Husband wants to sell family home during divorce, what are my options?

[Helpmeplease54]

Going through divorce after 25 years marriage, my husband owns the house which i've lived in for 26 years. My husband moved out 2 years ago, we have 4 adult sons all still at home with me. My sons pay their dad rent and I pay the bills with sons help. 3 sons are autistic and have severe anxiety, 1 of which works part time, the other 2 are unable to work. I am an unpaid carer on universal credit. My husband wants to sell the house. How can I afford to find somewhere else for all of us. Do we have to move out? Grateful for any advice.

You need to phone round solicitors first free half hour consultation over the phone
make a list of the most important questions and go down in order
when the half hour is up gone onto another solicitor with any other questions

If you're married then its more than likely a shared asset, so you both own it.

But, unless you can afford to buy your husband out then yes, it will have to be sold with the proceeds split.
It's a long marriage, but the children are technically adults so I'm not sure if they will all count as dependents when the share of assets is worked out.

You really do need to see a solicitor

You need proper legal advice specific to your unique circumstances in order to fully understand your rights and options, please don’t take “legal advice” from Mumsnet!

Normally the options are one of you buys the other out and keeps the house OR the house is sold and the profit split equally. Since your sons are adults instead of minors I don’t know if their care needs would come into play as far as you getting a larger share of the house profit. But I’d say it’s unlikely that you would be simply given the house.

You really need to speak to a solicitor. Your situation isn’t run of the mill. Do you know how much equity is in the house?

Isn’t it your house too, regardless whose name it’s in? 25 years is not a short marriage, you’ll be entitled to half of everything, if not more. I would stay put and seek advice from a solicitor sharpish. In the meantime maybe ask your husband if he would like to house four adult men? If they remain with you, surely you are going to need a five bedroom house? Far easier to stay in the one you’ve got, rather than move. Unless, like I said, you’re ex husband wants to put you up in a lovely one bedroom flat, you give him the family house and he can care for the four grown men.

Unless there is something you haven’t said then surely the house is a marital asset. You should get half of all assets including savings and pensions.

Will 50% be enough for you to buy a smaller place outright?

2nd time I've had to say it this month but,
The 'free half hour' is not for you to ask questions on which a solicitor will give you legal advice for free. It is for the solicitor to assess you as a potential client and find out what area of work you need them for/possibility of sucess. To do this THEY need to ask YOU questions about the marriage and the property. This would probably take 25 of the 30 mins, the last 5 being to say in very general terms, what points of law the paid work would cover.

About 150,000, thanks for replying.

I wish people would stop going on about this ‘free half-hour’. It isn’t a right and solicitors don’t have to offer it. It’s becoming increasingly unusual for this to be offered these days and as a PP says, it won’t give you free advice on your particular issue.

Is this the amount of equity? If so then in a 50/50 split you would end up with around 75,000. Would this be enough to put a down payment on a place where you are? Home values vary widely by area.

Really, you need to see a solicitor. And I agree with a PP, 'free consultations are rarer than hen's teeth.

All solicitors, financial advisors, accountants etc need to do an initial meeting with client for the reasons I said above. And they can't charge for that directly. It will be absorbed into the overheads included in their charge out costs. As soon as the client moves the meeting into specific advice its made clear you are now into chargeable time and they won't do any of that without contracts signed, ID checks done etc.
What I think is happening with solicitors is that they are not using the phrase 'free initial consultation' in their advertising. Probably because of all the mumsnetters ringing up demanding their free half hour of advice....

Do you have home insurance @Helpmeplease54 ? If so, check your policy. The vast majority of insurers offer a free legal helpline. Mine was absolutely fantastic and saved my sanity. I hadn't realised that it was available to me until it was pointed out. The solicitors I spoke to (and I was encouraged to phone as often as I wanted) were absolutely great.

People need to stop saying op is entitled to half. She’s not. She’s entitled to a fair share and based on info here no one knows what that is

usyally adult children are not factored into housing needs but If ops children can’t live Independently due to diagnosed disability or special needs they could do

op you really need to spend some money for proper legal advice. You can use internet to research and understand but go see a solicitor to talk through your specific situation as no one here can say

@Helpmeplease54 you do need to get proper legal advice, but I understand that having dependent adult disabled children can be regarded as special circumstances and you could be allowed to stay in the property as one outcome. Might involve going to court as it's not typical circumstances.

If you are not claiming benefits then you need to do so, sometimes they can be counted in a mortgage application too.

There is a some terrible advice here. There is also no such thing as a “free half hour”. You are married and the house is half yours. You need proper legal advice about division of assets. Your situation with disabled children makes a massive difference and that is why it’s important you get the right advice. He can’t sell the house from under you. You have protection via marriage.

You do have rights to the house (exactly what proportion will be determined in the divorce). For now you should place a Matrimonial Rights notice on the title at the Land Registry. You still have those rights but it means he can't do a surprise sale of the house/transfer it to anyone else.

I beg to differ, at least regarding solicitors.

Most family solicitors can and do charge for an initial consult. Then if you hire them the cost of the consult is often applied to the retainer.

'No fee' consultations aren't uncommon with 'no win, no fee' firms or for personal injury claims. The solicitors want to assess if your case would be 'worth it' to the firm before accepting a retainer. But in family court? Very uncommon.

https://www.lawsociety.org.uk/public/for-public-visitors/using-a-solicitor/paying-for-a-solicitor

Nowhere on the above says a solicitor 'can't' charge for initial consultation. Quite the opposite.

"Free or one-off payment advice

Some (bolding mine) solicitors give a free or one-off payment advice session. You can call the solicitor's office to find out if they offer this."

If you can’t afford to buy out your ex then the house will be sold. It won’t necessarily be 50:50.

Disabled adult children can be taken into account in assessing housing need but this will depend on how significant your dc disabilities are, you will need to evidence they can’t live independently so EHCP, medical or social care assessments will be useful to establish your housing need is more than one bedroom.

You could look at shared ownership with the rent portion paid by UC and using the capital from the house. I don’t know if that would let you buy a big enough place.

Possibly your dc could rent, claim UC and their housing allowance may include space for a live in carer (you) but you wouldn’t get UC if you had capital from the family home just carers allowance. This also wouldn’t give you any housing security.

Citizens advice would be worth chatting to and perhaps council housing team about supported living etc

You need a solicitor and you need to apply for carers allowance and disability benefits for your kids (how are they paying rent when they don't work?

You can get a part time job to top up your earnings and still get universal credit.

Essentially you need to increase your household income as much as possible.

And you need a solicitor to tell you your entitlement to the house. These things are vary wildly.

Yes, the house needs to be sold.
Why don’t you work? Do your adult children actually need you at home all during the day to look after them? I’m surprised almost none of your children can work at all. Have they tried using the access to work service?

Your ex husband cannot be expected to support you plus 4 adult kids so you need to do something.

How much rent are your sons paying, as it’s your house too. Your husband isn’t necessarily entitled to all of it.
Do your boys earn, or receive PiP/DLA?
Do they have a social worker involved at all?

Yes I’ve just paid £400 for an initial divorce consultation, an hour of general and specific advice, which I wasn’t allowed to book without ID checks etc.
My situation is fairly simple but it took longer than 30 mins to explain the situation- no legal advice would’ve happened in just a 30 min consult. Maybe am overview of the process which you can easily get yourself

nobody is going to give legal advice but it’s not a complex situation and since OP doesn’t realise the property is (highly likely) a martial asset there is plenty that people on MN can help with that can save her time and money in legal fees.

the only really duff advice is the free 30 minutes, which doesn’t count as “legal advice”
in anyone’s world.

OP you need to agree, or ask a court to agree, a financial split. This is part of the divorce. If you can’t buy your ex out, the house will have to be sold.

whether your adult sons need to be housed by the divorce depends on their disabilities. If they can’t live independently the it’s possible

If op has to give up working to care for dependent adult children then realistically she will get considerable more then half the shared assets. Her mortgage capability will be low compare to the exh, her income too. And likely for some years if not permanently. Assets will include pensions, savings, property, businesses owned by either of you, perhaps inheritance too. By the sounds of it the equity is relatively low in the house so I don't think it's unrealistic for OP to get the house assuming there are other assets and she can afford to actually keep the house.

Get on to land registry and register your interest in the property. That will stop him from being able to sell it from under you. At that point you can just let him take you to court/divorce. Sounds like you have enough on your plate.