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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Husband arrested after affair and abuse

3 replies

toothfairy26 · 23/04/2026 05:15

Discovered my husband is having an affair with a woman he works offshore with. There have been many infidelities with me wanting to end the marriage, in 2015 when discovered again he took an overdose. Years passed and intermittently anger would flare up.
In 2025 he was the cause of me having a breakdown, telling me I’m a waste of space, shit mother, I should kill myself. I was very unwell and hospitalised.
Another episode and I ended up in a refuge.
Stupidly I went home to his promises of support and apologies.
Things were ok but always an undercurrent of anger as I wasn’t working then.
This time home on leave he has played out an affair in front of me, in the past I’ve found out afterwards. I’ve challenged him and he refuses to discuss.
Tonight he returned and put gifts he bought for her away in his work bag in the loft.
We rowed he grabbed me and took my phone and threw it, repeatedly. In the middle of the row he spat full force in my face.
I called police as I’d already logged my concern days ago. He left the house and on his return trying to get back in I was to alert police he was back. He’s been arrested. It’s a mess.

OP posts:
Notsureaboutthatreallyy · 23/04/2026 05:29

I’m sorry you’ve been through this, it sounds terrifying. Well done for reporting him. Do you have any real life support? Are there kids involved?

Ultimately, and I know this sounds harsh, he’s done you a favour having an affair. He’s an awful person and you deserve better. Stay strong. Think about what YOU want from your life- how do you your life to be in a year?

I think you also need to explore why you have such low esteem that you’ve put up with this behaviour from him.

toothfairy26 · 23/04/2026 12:42

Thank you for replying, Yes I do have support, it was those hours afterwards I didn’t know where to turn. Our sons are 19, 22 they are disgusted. You’re right I don’t know how I’ve put up with it. You made me think though. x

OP posts:
FloweryPenPot · 23/04/2026 12:48

That’s an awful situation for a man to put his wife in, never mind in front of his children, no wonder they are disgusted. The best thing you can do is get it firmly in the past and move forward. That’s not to say you won’t have to deal with ramifications, but you need your keep moving away from the marriage and be safe. I have been in an abusive relationship, a long time ago now, you will find peace again.

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