Will our agreed divorce financial settlement be accepted by the court?

[Springtree6]

Thanks in advance for any advice. Have been with my husband for over 30 years with children in early 20s , both working, still living at home. We should have split years ago but have struggled on but now things have come to a head. The whole thing is horrible and I’m really struggling but know it is ultimately the right thing to do. I’ve completed the divorce application and am just plucking up courage to press send. At the moment we are both living in the same house but very separate lives.

finance wise - I am the higher earner and have always paid for all household bills . Husband to self employed and, on paper, earns very little and has a small pension. My works pension is good. Minimal savings for both of us.

the house is for sale and when it is sold we’ve agreed he’ll get 60% which will buy him a flat outright and have about £50k in savings. I would then get a small mortgage and the children live with me. We’ve agreed that this will be a clean split, I’ll keep my pension.

I Realise this advantages me but he’s said he’s happy with this. When we do our financial settlement, will this be agreed if we’ve both accepted it? We both just want to get the whole thing done as quickly and cleanly as possible.

He’ll need a pension share too

I hope it is accepted for your sake, but it might not be. In my case, we both agreed a settlement, but it was rejected by the judge for not being fair to xh.

Xh felt it was fair, as he was also the lower earner (he'd mainly foscued on a hobby rather than worked) and I had paid for almost everything the whole marriage. My solicitor wrote a letter explaining this to the judge, who then rejected it again.

So although we have been divorced many years, the financial settlement didn't actually happen. I believe xh could still reopen it, but I'm pretty sure he won't, though I don't recommend this if it's something you'd worry about. My understanding is, he could still reopen it up to the point at which he gets married again (get proper advice though!)

Thank you - this is really useful and echos our situation. It seems bizarre that a judge rejected it when you’d both agreed. Will you go back and try for another agreement at a later date?

How much is your pension vs his ?

a judge will look for equality on retirement for such a long marriage and likely to question it if not achieved even if you agree

His is tiny so mine, although not mega, is worth about 5 times as much. We are both about 10 years off retirement so he will have the opportunity to add to his pension (which he could have done during the marriage). And he will not have a mortgage. I will have this and the children living with me.

I realise it favours me but he has agreed he doesn’t want my pension and the house settlement will mean he has no mortgage / some savings. I’m just questioning if a judge will accept it if we both agree.

I won't try for another agreement, because it would almost definitely mean me having to sell the house. It was important to both of us that the dc were able to stay in the same place. Or I might have to sell it once younger dc reaches 18, which I also don't want.

I'm just letting it be as it is. Though I think my case is unusual in that xh is unlikely to push for more. I would recommend to other people to get it all resolved.

What happened at the time was all of our savings/incomes/pensions etc were basically added up into one total and divided by 2. Nothing was ringfenced as it had been a long marriage (though I believe relatively recent inheritances/bonuses can be - please do get proper advice on this). Then the fact that the dc were staying with me was taken into account. That's what the judge looked at, and based on that, he rejected our agreement as being unfair on xh.

I really recommend a good solicitor. Sorry to keep repeating that!

I can't see two children in their 20's who work full time being considered.
What is your pension actually worth vs the equity he will get from 60%

im raising it as I think a judge won’t accept it even if you agree, and will at least raise questions on the lack of pension vs yours

You might struggle especially as you are both to retirement age. It wouldn't be deemed legally fair if you get to enjoy a financially stable retirement whilst he struggles to make ends meet.

But ultimately it will be at a discretion of the judge. One thing that would help is him getting advice from a solicitor so that he fully understand the ramifications of what he is agreeing to.

Also, what is the 10% in equity relative to your pension?

I’m in a similar position. All amicable and I took more equity* even though I’m the higher earner as someone had to house and support adult children in London while the other one went off to live with his girlfriend.
I know adult children are not factored in so we think it might not be signed off but it felt fair to us. We’ve dealt with it by not even getting divorced let alone going for financial agreement. Bit risky but feels wrong to give a third party the power to tell us we can’t do something we both agree on.
(*He actually has more money but it was from an inheritance which can be disregarded)

Thank you. Even though children are officially adults they still need somewhere to live and, if we weren’t getting divorced, there’d be no thought about them not living in the family home whilst they save for deposits etc.

Your situation sounds very much like ours - it does seem frustrating that adults cannot agree between themselves. Maybe delaying the financial settlement is the way for us to go at the moment.

If you can demonstrate you’ve both had independent legal advice and your ex knows what he’s agreeing it’s possible it would go through

there has to be checks and balances and questions to avoid coercion or people agreeing things they don’t understand

You need to give people a rough idea of the actual figures involved. Percentages of assets without knowing the value doesn’t halo people to look at wether it’s fair and likely to be accepted by a judge.
how much is the equity?
how much is each pension?
is 50k the total savings pot?

It would be 20%. Op getting 40% and ex getting 60%. So if 20% of the equity is roughly equivalent to the pension difference then potentially a go.

It would be 20%. Op getting 40% and ex getting 60%. So if 20% of the equity is roughly equivalent to the pension difference then potentially a go
I meant as a £££ value.

I think the 60% equity and 50k savings is fair, but i imagine you’ll need to also give him 50% of what’s in your pension pot via a pension sharing order.

I don’t think the judge will accept it.

OP have you started the divorce? As it's a 5 month wait before you can apply for the next stage and do the financial order? I wouldn't recommend selling the property before the financial order is finalised as otherwise you could end up giving him more equity and then losing some of your pension if the judge rejects it

I couldn't get mine court approved despite ex and I being in total agreement - judge felt it wasn't fair - so we just divorced without a FO. My exh refused to deal with a solicitor on his side though, while I had one, and this may have hindered things. Make sure yours has legal representation.

It's not bit me on arse yet over a decade later, but never say never!

The house would normally be 50:50. Pension the same, the issue would rest on whether he by having 60% is compensated the same versus having 50% of house and pension and you taking on the burden of the children. It sounds relatively balanced to me tbf. Hoping the judge accepts it for you.

Can I ask, just because a judge tells you what the split needs to be, can you not just ignore that? Nod, sign the paperwork and then press ahead with your own agreed financial split?

A friend of mine wanted to do similar to you. She takes less equity but keep her own pension and her h take more equity and keep his lower pension. The judge made them get pension valuations and then my friend ended up with only 27 percent of the equity to balance her not wanting to pension share. My friend was also about 10 years from retiring but her DH 9 years to go. Any reason as DC are grown up adults you can't do 50/50 on equity and pension share? That is what judge will expect so you have equitable retirements. As only 10 years left to contribute to pension it's unlikely judge will agree if not equal.

The financial order is separate to the divorce. So the divorce can go through fine, but if the judge does not agree to the asset distribution (and refuses to agree the FO) you remain financially tied until one of you remarries. It means one party can come back years later and stake a claim on the other's assets.

@hatsoff234 in fact, you'd both have to remarry to break the financial tie. So if I remarry I could no longer claim off my exh (or my claim would be very limited), but he could still claim off me. That's my understanding anyway.