My ex‑husband has always been involved in my son’s life, but he is not his biological parent. My son’s father passed away before he was born. When my ex and I met, I owned my home outright, had a well‑paid job, employed a nanny, and had a healthy amount of savings.
Around the time we married, we bought a house together. He contributed only a small percentage to the deposit. Shortly afterwards, we discovered that my son had learning disabilities, and my ex “kindly” suggested that I stop working so I could care for him full‑time.
About five years into the marriage, I discovered that my ex had accumulated a substantial amount of hidden debt (several hundreds of thousand pounds) which he likely had when we met, had lied about the number of times he had previously been married, and was struggling with addiction. He had access to all my savings and had emptied the account. In order to leave the relationship safely, I had to agree to give him half of the house.
I had hoped to recover some of my financial losses during the divorce, but he spent everything before filing his Form E. At the time, he had a good job, and our solicitors agreed that he should pay child maintenance as a way to provide support and compensate for the financial damage he caused.
He is now in arrears. He claims he is no longer working and has remarried (wife number four or possibly five) within a year of our separation. He also set up a limited company around the same time he stopped working, which suggests he may be hiding income.
I have filed an enforcement order, although I know it is unlikely I will recover much. I am now looking for legal case law or justification for a step‑father’s obligation to pay maintenance, as I am representing myself. I believe this situation falls under the concept of a “child of the family,” which I understand is recognised in the Matrimonial Causes Act. I expect he will try to argue that our Consent Order is invalid or attempt to avoid his obligations, especially since this matter does not fall under the CMS.
I know I was taken advantage of. This has been incredibly painful. I now understand what love‑bombing is, and I suffer from PTSD as a result of the trauma. I want to move forward, but the financial impact has been devastating.